Dead Tired

I've had concerns for some time now that I may be suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, also known as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME). My day-to-day life has been increasingly difficult over the last two years or so, and lately I've been feeling worse and worse every day. It's at the point now where popping out to the shops or putting out laundry is physically exhausting. If I'm not at work, 90% of the time I'm in bed. Not even sleeping, just in bed because I'm too tired to do anything. It's affecting my work life negatively too - I had to miss my shift on Saturday, and - when I am at work - I feel that my performance isn't anywhere near 100%. I've been feeling incredibly miserable because of it, and a bit like life isn't really worth it. What kind of life is it when you simply can't do the smallest things?

In the two years since the onset of the particular symptoms that led me to suspect CFS, I have taken any and all medical advice and treatment in order to rule out other possibilities. We've ruled out depression, as I've been depressed for many years and these new symptoms were only a recent manifestation (if 2014 is recent). My thyroid is fine, and - though I've previously suffered from anaemia and low iron - I've recently been treated with iron and my levels are normal again, with no change in exhaustion. My lifestyle now is better than it's ever been: I've cut down on sugar and caffeine; I eat way more fruit and veg than I used to, and eat home-cooked meals every day; I hardly drink alcohol any more and when I do it isn't to excess; I drink at least 1.5 litres of water every day. I've had anti-depressants, SSRIs, benzodiazepines, and CBT. I've tried practicing sleep hygiene, mindfulness, and yoga. Nothing has helped.

I went to the doctor today and told her all about the symptoms, what it has done/is doing to my life, everything I've tried and ruled out, and my own fears about it being CFS. She immediately said she's going to refer me to a CFS specialist; I didn't think I'd be taken too seriously but she was really on board, and I appreciate it so much. I have to have a virology blood screening tomorrow, just as a requirement for the place (doctor's sure nothing will come up, because what virus lasts for two years undetected?), and then she'll send off all of my bloodwork and a letter of referral. Hopefully I'll be hearing from them soon. I feel happier already knowing that I've gotten the ball rolling on either diagnosing me, or ruling out another possibility. I slightly lament the fact that I really should have seen somebody earlier, but I know they're very insistent on ruling out other possibilities before investigating for CFS, so on the other hand I'm glad I've tried other diagnoses and treatment.

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I'm also planning a major overhaul of this blog. I don't know when it'll happen, but now that I've written it on here I feel obligated to get it done. I'm going to be updating the template and all of my pages, changing colours and fonts, and just generally tweaking it a bunch. I feel like this blog's a bit stale and I need to revamp it. The planning is going quite nicely but we all know that planning and executing are two very different things (especially if you take the word 'execute' literally!).