Job Hunting is a Soul Crusher

I'm still trying to find a job. It's difficult - there isn't much going at the moment, it's still a really crap economic climate so many places are hiring as little staff as possible, and you can only get so many rejections before you start to feel pretty disheartened. I have applied for everything I can find that I will be able to do, and stressed to every place that I can work any time, any days, as well as taking on extra shifts if needed. I couldn't be more flexible if I tried - I'm like an hours contortionist. I have all the time in the world. And yet here I am, 23 days after leaving Spain, still jobless. Some of the jobs I applied for, I was basically told I'm overqualified, which baffles me. Some ignored me completely. Some didn't let me even finish the online application process because the automated testing system decided I wasn't good enough. I think that one stung the most, being rejected by a computer before even getting a chance to correspond with a human.

I have had a few interviews, though, which is a positive point. I've not heard back from them yet; I'm hoping for the best and expecting the worst. I have another interview lined up next week, and I've been applying for more jobs tonight. It's really difficult to keep my chin up when it appears that there are no full time positions that I will be able to get - hell, I can't even get a part time or temporary position at the moment. It's hard not to blame myself; I know that blaming myself is irrational, and that there are lots of different reasons as to why a company won't employ me, but it's hard to suppress the irrational thoughts when you have way too much time to think.

It's not even as if I just want a job in order to have money to waste. I want a job so that I can become financially stable and independent. So I can pay off my overdraft and student loans. So that I can afford to pay my phone bill every month. So that I can finally learn to drive. So that I can experience more, travel more, have something resembling a social life. So that I don't lie awake all night, every night, worrying about money. So that I can properly move out of my mum's house and have my own place, in a town where there are more opportunities. I just want to be an adult, properly, and make money from my own hard work.

This isn't a particularly organised or articulate rant, I just needed to write about it before I go around the twist from being so frustrated and crippled with self-doubt.

Misogyny at the Pool

I was at the pool today, and I'd stopped swimming to have a breather, when I overheard a guy and a girl near me. This guy was telling the girl that she had 'put on a bunch of weight' this year, and how she needed to stop treating herself and exercise more. Bear in mind, this was in the pool where she'd been swimming for longer than I'd been in there. There was literally nothing wrong with this girl's figure - she looked perfectly healthy! Further to this, the guy berating her was legitimately very overweight, and a lot of what he told her about protein and carbs was completely wrong (I may not know tonnes, but I actually read up on things before I started trying to be healthy).

It's just pure misogyny. He had absolutely no right to make her feel like shit for putting on a couple of pounds when he clearly wasn't athletic himself. It came across like it was totally ok for him to be overweight, but if a woman dares to put on weight, it's the end of the world. It just really riled me because it was completely unfair, and I imagine it was pretty humiliating for the girl. Even if she was overweight, it doesn't matter! She's obviously trying to stay fit and healthy by going swimming, which is the most important thing.

Aside from actual, medical opinions on people whose weight (overweight or underweight) is significantly affecting their health, or a personal trainer who knows what they're talking about and has been employed by somebody to tell them what they need to work on, nobody has the right to dictate to other people what they 'should' be doing with their bodies.

Why do people still think it's ok to act like this? I bet if she'd said something about his weight, he would have been pissed off. It's completely ridiculous. And for the record, I'm not a """Feminazi""" (I hate that expression - fighting for equal rights is actually the complete opposite of the Nazi system, please go to a history lesson) - even if it was two girls, or two guys, or whatever, I would have still been pretty disgusted just because of the sheer hypocrisy of it.

Sorry about this rant, just needed to get this out because seeing people treat their so-called friends like shit makes me cross.