Apple Events Suck

On Wednesday, Caz and I went to London to see a talk featuring Martha Howe-Douglas, Ben Willbond, and Laurence Rickard. They were promoting their new film, Bill, which is out today coincidentally! It's about what William Shakespeare did in his 'lost years' (or, what the Horrible Histories crew decided he did). It was really funny, and of course so surreal to see three amazing actors that I love in front of me.

Can't really see Martha because of that STUPID PILLAR.

Afterwards, we quickly dashed to the back of the room where Larry was chatting to someone. We got a quick hug from him, and got to tell him he's hilarious, BUT THEN.
I must rant about the Apple Store in Covent Garden. They had another event lined up straight after the Bill talk, but they were so rude to everyone. They started fielding Larry into a back room, and telling us to get lost basically. They threw all of the fans out who had come to meet the actors; Caz and I were especially pissed off because we'd travelled 2 hours to London to see these guys. We later found out that they threw the actors out straight away as well! We wouldn't have been so upset if they hadn't been so bloody rude about it. Not to mention the fact that that store is absolutely gigantic, they could have easily directed us to another area to meet/talk to the actors. It was so unfair as every other publicity event for Bill had the actors meeting people, and we got nothing. I won't be going to another Apple event; it was disorganised and a let-down, and the staff were absolutely dreadful to us.

We stood outside in the pouring rain (it had been hammering down all day, which only added to how annoyed and let-down we felt), and were moaning about how badly done the event was and how we only got about a minute to hug Larry and tell him he's fab. Then, I spotted Ben Willbond walking by! Literally, if I'd have blinked I would've missed him. So I quickly went over to him and asked if I could speak to him for a bit.

He was so lovely, and sighed in a defeated way when I called him 'Ben Won't-bond'. I also let him know that I loved him in The Thick Of It, and got a big hug from him. I may have also accidentally told him he's so much more handsome in real life (which is true). He was just as baffled as us about the poorly-run event, and was really guilty and gutted that he hadn't had a chance to talk to everyone and meet the fans. I was livid hearing that even the actors got treated like shit by that bloody store. He obliged to have a photo with Caz and I after we'd chatted for a bit, which was utterly lovely of him. He was on his own time, and it was pouring with rain, but he still had photos and was gracious and sweet the whole time. He was amazed at how far we'd come just to meet them, and was really sad that we didn't get to meet Martha or Larry (properly, I mean). I really am so mad at that Apple Store and the staff """running""" the event. But here is a lovely lovely photo of me looking like ugly trash next to the very handsome Ben Willbond!

I also saw this huge, (very) brightly-lit billboard in Leicester Square and had to immediately send a photo to Susie:

We went to see Legend on Tuesday, and it was just incredible. If you haven't seen it already, I urge you to do so! Tom Hardy was phenomenal in it; if he doesn't at least get nominated for an Oscar, I will be very surprised. The man did a fight scene with himself, for crying out loud. Susie and I joked that he could technically win Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor for the same movie, as he plays both of the Kray twins.

An Adventure in the Big Smoke

On Wednesday, I took my little brother Ryan to London for a day out and it was so much fun. What wasn't fun was waking up at 7am to be at the station in time for a 9:30am coach, but it was all up from there.

When we got there, I took him to see Trafalgar Square (18 years old and he's never seen it!), and he was suitably impressed. I then took him to mine and Mutti's favourite Wetherspoons, The Lord Moon of the Mall for lunch. It was a delicious lunch, and he made me laugh when all of the filling in his burger was falling out and he just looked at me, deadpan, and said, "White boy problems." I had the nicest Eton Mess for dessert, yum!

We embarked on the daring mission that made us plan the day trip in the first place. You may or may not know that Nicki Minaj (our favourite woman in the world) has a drink out called Myx Fusions; recently, it's started to be sold in the UK but there are only two locations in England at the moment. One is in Birmingham, and the other in South London. I was worried they wouldn't have it in stock or something, but it was there! Shelves and shelves of it! They had the original moscato grape, and the peach flavour. We bought a four pack of each flavour, then traded two bottles between ourselves. It was a tenner just for a four pack, but we were so thrilled that we'd found it.

An immediate drinking location was required, so I thought to get back into Central London and then get the Tube north to Camden. We went to Regent's Park and sprawled on the grass to try a bottle of Myx each. I tried the peach and Ryan tried the original, but we let each other have a sip of the respective flavours. It is SO nice, very sweet and fruity. It would be a perfect summer party drink. Here's a photo I took last night of me being an advert (fun fact: the official Myx Fusions account liked this picture on Instagram!):

I then showed Ryan Camden High Street, Camden Lock, Cyberdog (of course!), and the Stables Market, where we took advantage of the free samples of Thai chicken (deeeelicious!). He'd never been to Camden either, so of course I had to make sure he got to see how amazing it is there. He has fallen sufficiently in love with it, so now I can legally accept him as my brother.

At this point, Ryan also disclosed to me that - although he's been to King's Cross - he has never seen Platform 9¾! I immediately pushed him onto the Tube to go see it. Unfortunately the 'official' photographer person was there, and there was a huge queue for photos, so Ryan decided not to get his photo done. I was lucky back in 2012, when Sophie and I found the platform deserted and took free, casual photos! We had a quick turn around the accompanying Harry Potter shop but really, that place is always way too packed to have a decent look.

I then decided Ryan simply had to visit the CyberCandy shop near Leicester Square. So that was the next destination on the list. Again, Ryan was suitably impressed with all the amazing American/other sweets and treats on offer (though less impressed with the prices!). We had a KFC at Leicester Square, and I was glad to sit down because my knees were really starting to act up at this point. It had also started raining, which didn't help. There was an absolutely mad cleaning lady in there, who seemed to be the unofficial guardian of the disabled/baby change toilet. She had the key to get in and you had to ask her for it; Ryan and I witnessed many people being told off for leaving the door ajar when they left the bathroom. It was hilarious!

Ryan wanted to go and 'visit the Queen' (see Buckingham Palace again - he's been before but he really likes it). On popping out of a different exit of the Tube station at Charing Cross, I found this:

That's 'A Conversation With Oscar Wilde' by Maggi Hambling. I've read lots about it, being a fan of Wilde, but had never worked out where it was or happened across it. I wasn't expecting to find it, and there it was right in front of me! I personally think it's a brilliant piece of art. A lot of people say it's 'ugly' but I like that Wilde is emerging from a sarcophagus (that is also a bench) and smoking a cigarette. It was a pleasure to see the sculpture in real life! At this point, I also had to have a good talking-to to Ryan, because he didn't know who Oscar Wilde was. I was very close to resorting to violence.

As we were walking up the Mall towards the Palace, the rain got really bad. The raindrops were like bullets and it was so bloody cold. We spotted the Institute of Contemporary Arts, and quickly took shelter. I became enamoured with every book in the place (there was a lot on feminism and psychology, which interested me), and had to restrain myself from spending way too much money. There was also a postcard that said 'I Cunt Spell' on it, which tickled my fancy. Wish I'd gotten it now. While we were browsing, Ryan said, "Why do books always smell so weird?" to which I stopped in my tracks and said, "How dare you."

When the rain calmed down a bit, we ventured out again. The flag was up and the lights were on in Buckingham Palace, so we knew Mrs Queen was in. We waved at the Palace, just on the off-chance she was peeping out of the window. I love the Queen, and Buckingham Palace is always nice, no matter how many times you see it.

From the Palace, we strolled through Westminster to Parliament Square, where I took the best photo I've ever taken (may or may not be true - I just can't stress enough how proud I am of this picture):

That was the sky. It was totally beautiful, a mess of colours, stormy and turbulent and oppressive. I didn't care about 'looking like a tourist', I had to have a photo of that angry sky. I also got some painkillers because my knees were really throbbing and seizing up, and I was starting to noticeably hobble. Embarrassing. A 23-year-old walking like she's 80.

We stood by Big Ben because it was nearly 8pm and we wanted to hear the BONGs. We were there because Ryan wanted to see Big Ben all lit up at night (he'd never seen that in real life either), and look at the lit-up London Eye. After the (suitably impressve) BONGs, we crossed Westminster Bridge to where the London Eye is. It was nice to stroll alongside the Thames, amongst couples and families and friends just meandering and enjoying the evening. It wasn't too cold out, and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

Thus begins the stupidly-grainy photos because my phone can't handle the dark.

There was a slushie place on the bank (I can't for the life of me remember the name of it), that did mixes of different flavours, and you could also add a double shot of alcohol if you wanted! Obviously, Ryan and I capitalised on this right away. He had tequila, with an apple slush base and sour cherry mix. I had lemon and blood orange base, sour cherry mix, and vodka. They were so delicious, but kept giving us the most terrible brain-freeze. I have never had it that bad, and I'm convinced it was the alcohol's fault. It was nice to lean on the railings near the Thames, looking out at all the lights while an amazing fiddle player performed just down the walk from us.

On hearing the 9pm BONGs from Big Ben, we decided to get back to Victoria (our coach home was at 10pm). We were both absolutely knackered by the time we got to the coach station; it didn't help that the coach was slightly delayed. The ride home is a bit of a blur to me - Ryan and I put our headphones on because we were both tired and too many people had really crackly food packets (who needs to eat at 11pm? Seriously?), and it was annoying.

We had such a brilliant time! I love London anyway, and getting to show parts of it to someone who's not as familiar with the city was so fulfilling and exciting. We accomplished our Myx Fusions mission, had a brilliant day, and we were very sorry to come home. Ryan said he wanted to stay forever, and I kind of agree. I miss being near London and being able to pop there whenever I wanted. I will return for a trip as soon as I can!

Prohibition Themes in Bristol

    Yesterday, Susie and I went on a fab day out to Bristol. At Temple Meads station, right at the beginning of the day, my left knee decided it would be a fantastic idea to give out again. It was so painful and I was just thankful that I had a nurse-in-training with me to make sure I would be able to stand up again. It was so distressing and embarrassing because the station was packed. A hot guy came over and asked me if I needed a hand getting up, or if I wanted him to call anyone. It was so sweet of him, but I was far too upset to take advantage of his kindness. I'm ok, but I can tell you my knee has now seized up fantastically and I can barely walk. Fab.

After finding painkillers, we walked to the centre via the cathedral, and found a chip shop called Catch-22, which I found absolutely hilarious. They do the nicest chips ever! We got a portion each and then chilled on the college green to eat them. It was a nice day - warm and sunny, but also with a nice cool breeze.

We visited the Bristol City Museum & Art Gallery, where I was immediately drawn to the Ancient Egypt section. They had canopic jars, which thrilled me. Elsewhere in the museum, they had cool things like: a Romani caravan; an angler fish that had washed ashore (I don't even know how an angler fish got to the surface without imploding, but he apparently did); and DINOSAURS. I love museums, they're so brilliant!

We walked all the way up to Clifton Village, which is a really posh part of Bristol. It was here that I spent a lot of time crying over beautiful townhouses that probably cost more than I'll ever earn in my life. The architecture is lovely around there. We stopped in a little dessert shop and had milkshake and a wonderful chocolate pie.

Feeling energised by our sweet snacks, we made our way over to the Clifton suspension bridge. I've lived a half-hour train ride away from Bristol for most of my life and I've never seen it in person. Standing on the bridge, looking out at the city on such a beautiful day, was really pleasant. I was getting the 'call of the void', though, and congratulate myself for not jumping off. It was nice to stand up there and have a chit-chat while watching the city go about its business. We spent a long while there, feeling the cool breeze and taking in the sunshine, and I'm glad I forced my aching knees to carry me up the steep hill to get there.

To get down to that main road in the bottom photo, Susie and I had to walk down a treacherous path known as 'The Zig Zag'; it's shaped, strangely, like a zig-zag and it's so steep. Honestly, we spent the whole trek down giggling nervously and convinced we'd end up falling off the path and breaking our necks. Great butt and thigh workout though!

Having walked all that way, we decided we deserved a drink so we strolled to a place on the waterfront called The Apple. It's a bar that sells cider, and some of the seating is on a boat! It was such a nice atmosphere there, watching people go by on their boats in the sunshine. After that, we moved on to The Old Duke, an old jazz pub where Susie's Dad used to play. The pub has such character, and a great band was playing (they were called J.C. Calloway & The Prohibition Jazz Band and they were fantastic). Susie was putting some make-up on in the loos and I'd mentioned how ridiculous my pale skin is; Susie said in a really blasé manner, "Do you want some lipgloss... Corpse?" and I couldn't even be mad because it was so funny.

We decided we were ready for some grub, and we were going to eat at a great pizzeria that Susie had been to before, but they didn't have tables until 8pm which was clearly ridiculous. So we walked over to Gloucester Road, an area full of artsy types and lots of brilliant graffiti, where there are loads of food places. However, we got waylaid by a bar called The Bootlegger - it's a Prohibition-themed bar with signature cocktails, good music, really friendly barmen, and they served some of my drinks in mason jars! It's such a cool place (and I've noticed there's a bit of a Prohibition theme going on here, which suits me fine).

We had dinner a few doors down from The Bootlegger, at an Italian restaurant called Amici (we were dead set on pizza at this point). The pizzas there were so fantastic! They were really rustic and tasted properly homemade, with the most delicious tomato sauce. And they were quite big too, so we soaked up the drinks we'd already had at this point, in order to make room for more cocktails of course!

When we got back to The Bootlegger, it was a lot more lively. There were so many well-dressed people there (including what looked like a birthday party of women dressed as flapper girls!) - lots of men in shirts and braces, which Susie and I loved. Amongst other drinks, I had the one in the photo above. It's a Dark & Stormy; I'm thrilled someone named a cocktail after my personality, plus it has ginger beer in it. It tastes pirate-y. My other favourite was Black/Dark Passion (I can't remember the adjective, lmao). It had fresh blackberries in it, so I pretended that that totally made it healthy. Live music was playing in the bar at this point, and they played bloody Miserlou from Pulp Fiction, it was so funny.

We managed to just about make the last train, and of course it was full of drunk people. It also became delayed because of another train stuck on the tracks; we had to take a big detour and then go backwards to stop at Chippenham before going home. It was such a pain in the ass and was really annoying me because I was so tired from all the walking and hilarity. However, there were some crazy drunk men in the next carriage who provided some entertainment. With no context, we heard the following (all said in broad Wiltshire accents):

• "Oy listen, I just saved you from a WORLD of SHIT."
• *slightly singing* "Cheeeeese on toast... Maaaarmalade on toast."
• *after a long period of silence* "AARRRRRRRRRR!"
• "I saved your life."

Susie and I were in fits of laughter over how ridiculous they were all being; it didn't help that all the yelling was slightly muffled as the carriage doors were shut. I finally got home at about 00:30, and slept gloriously.

Oxford - A Tolkien Tour

When I arrived at Oxford, the weather was absolutely beautiful and I decided to first walk out to Wolvercote cemetery, just in case it started raining later. I took a wonderfully scenic route along the canal; it was so relaxing despite the millions of flies and almost being run over by a cyclist. Speaking of cyclists, there were thousands of them! I was beyond confused.

It took me a good hour to walk to the cemetery, but I'm glad I did. I feel better for the exercise. I was slightly concerned that I wouldn't be able to find Tolkien - that concern was quickly alleviated when I immediately noticed a small sign in the grass verge pointing the way. I followed these signs, through the cemetery (which is pretty huge), until one eventually pointed off of the path, into the grass. And there I was, at the grave of the man who wrote my childhood, who brought (and still brings) so much magic and wonder into my life.

Under that soil, with his lovely wife, was one of the greatest writers England has ever produced. I sat beside them for quite some time, enjoying the peace and the sunshine. I told him thanks for everything, and left a wooden rose on the soil amongst other bunches of flowers left by people who visited before.

(After taking this pretentious photo of it on the stone)

I was going to walk back to the city centre, but I was overheated and my legs were hurting. So I got a bus. Once back there, I strolled around the perimeter of Oxford University. I was so intimidated by the beautiful buildings, the nicely dressed students - it smelt of money and privilege. It was like a totally different world. I spent a lot of time ambling around the uni, getting lost on campus briefly, and through the little winding side streets.

Then, shortly after midday, I made my way over to a certain pub I had been reading about - The Eagle and Child. It's a 17th century pub, across from the main building of the university, and it was a favourite haunt of the Inklings. This was a group of writers including Tolkien who used to meet and have a drink and discuss whatever literary geniuses discuss. Obviously as part of my little Tolkien tour, I had to at least have one drink in there!

Inside the pub was just as rustic and quiet as I'd hoped it would be. I mean, there were plenty of people in the main room, but in the 'Rabbit Room', where the inklings used to hang out, it was empty. I eyed the table near the fireplace, reading the plaque above it stating that this was the spot in which the Inklings would hang out. As I approached the bar, I kept my eyes on that table and my fingers crossed that no one would poach the seat before I had a chance.

(The framed paper above the fireplace has samples of the Inklings' handwriting!)

I got to sit at that table, and was ridiculously thrilled about it. Now that I had secured my place, I ordered some macaroni and cheese for lunch - in all my excitement, I hadn't noticed how famished I was. It took a while to come because of the lunchtime rush, but in the meantime I had a lot of fun.

First, a miscellaneous bloke floated over to my table and asked if he could sit with me. I said of course, of course, and asked him if that was an Aussie accent I heard. It was. An Australian man wanted to sit at the table with me. We got to talking about Tolkien and it turns out he'd been touring around Europe and England for the last month, and he was in Oxford on a little Tolkien pilgrimage of his own! His name was Mike, and we ended up exploring Oxford together for the rest of the afternoon.

Then, an American couple asked to join Mike and I at the Inklings table. Again, I said of course. They were very friendly and nice, and the husband (Zachary) was here on a Tolkien pilgrimage too! His wife, Mary Lauren, very graciously joined him to Oxford. They were tourists too, and had been around many lovely, quaint areas in England. It was so amazing to randomly meet tourists in a town packed full of international university students. Anyway, we all chatted (me occasionally through mouthfuls of mac and cheese - they used local cheddar in it and it was absolutely delicious) about our respective adventures, they all asked questions about England and English people in general, and Mike was kind enough to buy me a pint of cider (it was because he clearly fancied me, let's be honest). The Americans took their leave after they'd had lunch and Mike and I decided to go find Tolkien's old house.

It wasn't a very long walk away from the pub to get there. Of course, Google Maps helped me in abundance. We found the house, but we weren't ready for the thousands of old people in the garden, chilling. We spent a lot of time behind the fence just snorting with laughter and trying to surreptitiously take a photo of the blue plaque saying that Tolkien had in fact lived there. We managed eventually.

It's pretty indiscernible but I promise it says something along the lines of 'J.R.R. Tolkien, a well famous author and University of Oxford professor, used to live here'. It was so magical to see the place where he lived, where he was buried, and where he used to drink. The three most important places, really!

Mike and I spent the rest of the afternoon mooching, taking in the scenery, and talking absolute rubbish. We sprawled out in a meadow for a while, watching the squirrels gambol around. We people watched, and laughed, and browsed Waterstones, and my feet were hurting so much but it was totally worth all the fun I had. We went to the station together and he left a little before me (he was going back to his hostel in London, I was returning home via Didcot, of course). He's off back to Perth on Thursday!

The Bridge of Sighs

I had such a brilliant time! I want to go back again and explore more of the university and city some day.