Edinburgh Day 3 - Human Remains, Scotch Whisky & The Plague

Let me reiterate here: do not climb to Arthur’s Seat unless you’re completely prepared, have some physical fitness, and know exactly what you’re getting into. I knew I would be tired and achy after doing it, but I woke up on Thursday morning in all kinds of pain. My legs had seized up and I spent most of the day walking like scarecrow because they hurt so much. It took real effort to get to all of the things I’d planned, and I probably didn’t help myself at all by pushing on.

Thursday

I stopped for breakfast at a cute place called The Edinburgh Larder. It’s a sunny little café with all locally-sourced ingredients. I got there not long after they opened, and they already had several tables seated. The décor is homey, and the atmosphere was peaceful. The staff were really nice (I didn’t encounter any rude staff while I was in Edinburgh – it was great!) and I had a mocha with a sausage and bacon breakfast roll. It was exactly what I needed, homemade and delicious. Even though it was getting quite busy, I wasn’t rushed along at all and could take my time finishing my coffee and going over my plans for the day. It was the perfect start to the morning.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have a keen interest in death, funerary practices, pathology, medical oddities and forensics. So when I read about the Surgeons’ Hall Museum, I decided I simply had to go. I was even more intrigued on finding out that photography isn’t permitted in the museum under the Human Tissue Scotland Act (2006).

I was the first member of the public in there when it opened (another very On Brand moment of my holiday), so I had a lot of space to look around. I had a little map and the staff recommended going around the place in a certain order:

Temporary Exhibition: When I was there it was 'Field Notes: Reflections of Camp Life at the Scottish Women's Hospitals', and I believe they change the exhibitions annually. The exhibition included some beautiful artwork based on the real-life accounts of female nurses providing care all over the world during the First World War. A real girl power story.

The Anatomy Lab Education Space: This was a nice little room that kind of reminded me of science classrooms at school (except much cleaner, and with impressive anatomical diagrams). There were several older human samples in here, as well as some human and animal bones. There were also desks by the windows with microscopes on them, as if someone could come in and start working at any time.

History of Surgery Museum Anatomy Theatre: I really enjoyed this part because there’s a mock-up of an anatomy theatre with an interactive dissection table. That, and the surrounding exhibitions, go through the history of Scottish surgery, including the discovery of germ theory and anaesthesia. I loved looking at the really old surgical tools as they just looked like something Michael Myers would carry. It was a really interesting primer on surgical history, and it was wild to read about all the mad beliefs that were held before we progressed in science. 

The Wohl Pathology Museum: An absolutely enormous collection of human remains, categorised by area of surgery (e.g. plastic, ocular, vascular, etc). On the upper mezzanine there are just rows and rows of shelves filled with specimens, each one neatly labelled. Some are older than others, and it’s interesting to see differing preservation techniques and effectiveness. On the main floor is a chronological section on wartime surgery, from the Napoleonic wars all the way up to Afghanistan. Definitely one to look at if you’re interested in military history. There was also a lot about women in surgery. Women were erased from history for the longest time, so to have their achievements highlighted is really cool.

I walked around all of the sections in awe, curiosity, and sometimes a tiny bit of revulsion. Some of my (for want of a better word) highlights were:

Not one, but two narwhal horns

Sir Charles Bell’s 1809 painting ‘Tetanus Following Gunshot Wounds’ - I’m not sure if it was the original painting or a copy, but the picture has always been so horrifyingly fascinating to me so seeing it up close was cool

Seeing what tuberculosis, syphilis and other diseases do to your internal organs

A pocketbook that’s said to be made from the skin of William Burke

Looking through a magnifier to see the three tiny inner ear bones

Skeletons, so many skeletons (the ones with advanced rickets were scary)

Older organs that were preserved by injecting mercury – the veins were all silver and shiny

Seeing the difference between musket ball and bullet wounds in the combat surgery section

Lots of congenital defects, teratomas and deformities

A really impressive aortic aneurysm

I could go on, but we’ll be here all day. There was so much more to see, I couldn’t possibly remember it all. The only part of the museum that I couldn’t bring myself to look at was the dentistry floor at the top. I have massive dental anxiety that I’ve only recently started getting over. It’s probably really cool but I didn’t want to risk it.

Surgeons’ Hall is so interesting, real, and not at all gratuitous. Everything is presented neatly and matter-of-factly. I could have spent all day in there, the collection is so vast. I think everyone should see it, but definitely not if you’re squeamish! I came out of there having learned a lot, and I’m glad I went.

I always get my Mum a magnet when I travel, so I stopped in a souvenir shop to find one. I also got her some gin fudge and picked up a pack of highland cow-shaped shortbread for Caz.

I had booked a tour at the Scotch Whisky Experience next. First, we were placed in a cart that looks like a barrel and it took us through some interactive tunnels that tell you all about the process of creating genuine scotch. We also learned about the different casks used for different flavours and colours, and how people have to train for years and years to be allowed to make whisky casks (by hand!).

We were handed ‘aroma cards’. Each whisky region – Highland, Speyside, Islay, Lowland and Campbeltown – had a scratch and sniff area to illustrate the ‘signature’ scent. We watched a video on a surround screen about the different regions and sniffed each one as instructed. I don’t think I was the only one essentially knocked out by the strong smell of Islay! Our guide explained the signature scents and flavours of each one, as well as some background about the different areas and the history of whisky-making.

In the next room, which looked like an old tasting room of a master distiller, we were told about how blended whiskies came to be. Then we were asked to pick one of the five regions or a blended scotch to taste. I chose Highland and was given some Tomatin Legacy. Our glasses were poured and then we were led into the vault containing the largest unopened scotch whisky collection in the world. I was blown away, the collection was so vast and full of cool, unusual bottles.

We were taught how to properly look at the colour and check the body of the whisky, how to nose it, and how to taste it. There was none of this spitting-out business that happens at wine tasting. We were encouraged to savour and enjoy our drinks and invited to look around at the glittering shelves full of bottles.

Bear in mind that I ‘only’ went for the Silver Tour option, and it was still really great. I learned so much, and our tour guide was really friendly and knowledgeable (also cute but shhhh). If you’re interested in scotch, how things are made, collections or history, I definitely recommend going to this. I had to exercise real restraint in the gift shop, as you can probably imagine. I got some dark chocolates shaped like barrels filled with scotch fondant as a gift for Martin, and some whisky-flavoured tablet for myself.

Afterwards, I had time to pop back to the hostel to drop off my purchases and have a break. I was grateful for that because my little legs were complaining and my back was killing me. I just flopped on my bed in the dorm for a bit to rest my poor bones.

At 3pm, I had booked a tour at The Real Mary Kings Close. It’s a really well-preserved 17th century street just off the Royal Mile. Today, it technically sits underground but it was actually an open-air street back in the day. Photos weren’t permitted here either, as the little streets apparently run beneath a government building so safety, y’know.

We descended down some steps to get in. It was chilly and smelled really old down there. The streets were so narrow and tiny – I can’t imagine how claustrophobic it would’ve been when it was filled with people, merchants, animals and tradesmen. There was one little offshoot that was barely a metre wide! There was a bit of information about the plague, which is one of my favourite things to learn about, complete with a figure of a plague doctor ‘treating’ one of the patients. We heard a story about a little ghost girl who allegedly haunts one of the houses. People leave toys to appease her spirit which I thought was very cute. Our guide was interesting and so entertaining. He didn’t break character once, and gave us a really lively tour.

I had one small niggle about the tour: On the website, it kind of appears as if you’ll meet all of the dressed up people as you went along, but that wasn’t the case. You get one guide, and I suppose it could end up being any of the ‘characters’. I’m just bitter because I didn’t get to meet the plague doctor.

I’m also going to have a small gripe about another tourist. We were told by our guide that one of the rooms had poles in it, which were actually load-bearing and holding up the old wood and horsehair ceiling. We were asked very politely not to touch them and warned that it could be dangerous. So the second we got in there some idiot man decided to grab one of the poles and SHAKE it. He was looking around like it was a funny joke and all of us were just thunderstruck. Our guide did a great job of reiterating his point without breaking character or getting angry. “Yes, I’d rather you didn’t do that. This ceiling is over 600 years old, I quite like it up there and not on my head.” Seriously if your guide gives you instructions, LISTEN. They’re not being killjoys and it’s not funny to disobey them – that’s how people get hurt or killed. Don’t be a dick, have some respect.

At the gift shop, I picked up my ‘plague survival kit’ – a pre-ordered collection of souvenirs including a plague doctor mask, two coasters (one wood and one glass), a plague doctor keyring, and a canvas tote with a plague doctor on it. I went a little bit mad with excitement and also bought a chocolate bar and a tea towel with plague doctors on it. If you like history - particularly the gritty, pestilent side of it - go to The Real Mary Kings Close.

When I emerged from underground, there was a man with a comically huge unicycle standing in the middle of the Royal Mile, hollering to the street to watch how he got himself onto it. I never did see if he managed to – I would have liked to have watched, but I hadn’t eaten properly all day and my stomach prevailed. I moved on to Mum’s Great Comfort Food.

The name was really apt. The food on offer was hearty, homemade and filling. I had an Oreo milkshake (not very Scottish, I know) and some skin-on chips with a serving of macaroni cheese. It was so good! I also tried Cranachan, a traditional Scottish dessert, and that was delicious too. A group of American ladies on the table next to me were very interested in what I was ordering and decided to try the Cranachan too when it came out in a cute little teacup with shortbread pieces. They were really friendly, and I had a nice chat with them while I ate.

I wandered back via Victoria Street again, and looked in a shop called Museum Context. It mostly sells Harry Potter merchandise, as Victoria Street was supposedly an inspiration for Diagon Alley. It also had a collection of other little curiosities and home décor. I didn’t spend very long in there, though, as I wanted to get back to the hostel to get an early night.

Friday

So much for getting an early night. There were new guys in the dorm on my last night, and they were so rude it was unbelievable. I was kept awake until after 2:30am by them repeatedly getting in and out of their beds, rummaging loudly through their bags/lockers, talking and giggling in stage whispers, and flashing their phone lights around the room so they shined right into my face. I got up and huffed out of the room to use the bathroom and told myself I’d give them three chances to shut up.

They blew them, of course, so I said, “Can you stop shining your phone lights around the room? I have to be up at 4:30.” I got a long silence and then a really sullen “Sawry.” like I was being unreasonable. This pissed me off more so I added, “And maybe go to the common area if you want to chat, as there are other people in this room trying to get some rest.” After that, they did settle down but I was so wired from having to be confrontational that I really didn’t get much more sleep.

The first rule of sharing a room with people, especially strangers, is to be courteous and not mess with people’s sleep. If it’s two in the morning and everyone else is sleeping (or trying to), DON’T BE THAT PERSON. Go to a common area or just shut up. It’s not fair on other people who are also paying to be there.

I managed to get up and out more or less on time, despite only getting a few hours’ sleep. I was seen off by a nice night porter at reception. Seriously, god bless Castle Rock Hostel – excellent service to the very last second. I had a lovely 5am walk through the dark, empty streets of the Old Town, and was already feeling the blues about having to leave.

I had a really lucky, easy journey home. About five minutes after I got to the train station, the shuttle bus picked me up and went to the airport. My flight was bang on time, and went without a hitch. The Flyer was already at its stop when I reached Bristol airport, and I made it to Temple Meads with five minutes to spare till a train that would take me home. It worked out really nicely and I was glad for that, because the trip was really catching up with me and I just wanted to get back.

It took me 5 days before I even managed to leave the house, and a full week to recover properly. I knew I’d pay for the trip, because I packed a lot in and forced myself to push on despite being fatigued. CFS makes it difficult for me to do a lot in a short space of time without needing a lot of recovery afterwards. Maybe someday I’ll write about it.

Despite that, though, I had such a wonderful time. Edinburgh is a vibrant, beautiful and immensely historical city. I would definitely like to go back because I feel like there’s so much more to see and experience there, and I 150% recommend it as a travel destination. Thank you so much for getting through this epic Edinburgh post trilogy, even if it took me so very long to write them up. I think next time I travel, I will draft blogs during the trip so I at least have something partial before I get back and post-trip blues set in.