My 2022 Goals

I sat down and thought about the New Year goals I’ve set over the years, and decided I wanted to make some of them a bit more specific. I learned last year to break seemingly insurmountable goals into smaller, more manageable stages – it seems super obvious, I know, but it’s taken so long for that to sink in properly for me. 

A lot of these goals are going to be longer-term than a year, but they’re all things I want to work hard on this year and move forward with. As always I want to make a list of them here to hold myself accountable.

Do Red January 

Before Christmas, I saw banners in my gym about Red January. The point of it is to exercise every day of the month, to help your physical and mental health after the Christmas indulgence and inevitable comedown. You don’t have to do any particular type of exercise, and it’s up to you how much you do daily. 

I decided to challenge myself to at least 30 minutes of exercise, of any kind, per day. CFS might throw a spanner in the works, but the hope is that I can kick-start my motivation with getting back to looking after my body and mind. When you sign up, you’re automatically given a fundraising page. All the money raised goes to Sport in Mind, a mental health charity that focuses on the benefits of sport and exercise. I know January is a skint month for everyone, but here’s my page if you want to follow my progress and consider donating – I win a Red January 2022 pin badge if I get to £31 (a pound for every day of the month). 

Exercise at least 3x/week 

Once January is over, I will strive to get as much exercise as I can. However, I’ll be a bit easier on myself. Exercising every single day, long-term, won’t be sustainable and my perfectionism will bully me for not meeting such a lofty goal. So instead, I’ll set my exercise goal at 3 times a week – if I do more, that’s great. If I do less, I want to try not to beat myself up about it. Overall, I just want to get stronger and fitter. 

A sub-goal here is that I want to be able to do one unassisted pull-up by the end of the year. We’ll see how that goes! 

Continue to build freelancing work & looking for a job

This is super important to me. I really need to keep working on getting my career on track so I can actually live my life independently and feel like I actually have a purpose. At the time of posting this, I have already had two queries and completed one freelance job. I'm hoping this is setting a good precedent for the year.

Read at least 15 books 

I can’t believe I failed this goal in 2021 – I’ve consistently read at least 15 books every year for a long time now. I want to make sure I make time for reading because I really enjoy it and find it mindful/calming. 

Save money 

This is always going to be a goal. I need to save as much as I can for big future things like getting my car and moving into my own place. I would also like to save money for travel and experiences. 

Write in diary every day 

I successfully did this last year and found it really helpful to keep a record of everything, so I’m doing it again this year. I got this cute af bee design diary from Paperchase – there’s nothing better than having a gorgeous book to write in every day. 

Go on at least one trip 

Another goal that I always strive for, and hopefully it won’t be all the way at the end of the year this time! I still don’t think I’m ready to go abroad, with the Covid situation continuing to be a pain, but there’s plenty of places here in the UK I’d like to visit. 

Finish getting driving licence 

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m going to start taking automatic lessons instead of manual as my clutch leg is too temperamental. I already know how to drive, I just need to learn all of my manoeuvres and get as good as possible before taking my test. 

A secondary goal to this, depending on passing the test/my finances, is to get my first car! 

Write at least 500 words a day 

A few weeks ago, Will gave me a challenge. I’m always moaning to him about what a crap writer I am and how I never manage to get any of my personal writing projects done (see my utter failure at last year’s blog backlog goal for reference). I always have writer’s block, or just can’t find the motivation to want to write for myself. Will said I ought to try to write 500 words every day this year, of anything, as long as it’s readable and coherent. Because it was framed as a challenge, I of course had to do it. I’m hoping it’ll be a helpful exercise and get me actually producing content that has sat stagnant for years. I’ve made a spreadsheet and everything, that’s how serious I am. As of today, I’ve already done 6600 words since January 1, which averages out at about 660 a day. Killing it!

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I hope I’m able to stick to my goals, but not obsess over them and berate myself for perceived ‘failures’ (part of practicing being less of a perfectionist). What sort of goals have you set for yourselves? As always, I’d love to know. Of course, because I care – but mostly because I want to nick your good ideas.

2021 Goals

I went into 2020 feeling really hopeful, and we all know how that turned out. In 2021, I imagine that Covid-19 will still dictate a lot of our lives, but I think it’s important set targets. I’m trying to be as optimistic as possible that things will be less unpredictable and horrible this year. As always, these are not resolutions – they are goals to aim for.

Go on at least one trip

Obviously this one is completely subject to any travel restrictions there might be, but I’d like to have at least one trip. I don’t care if it’s in-country or abroad, I just want to see somewhere new.

Learn to drive

I mentioned in my previous post that I meant to do this in 2020, and that I’ve been studying for my theory test. I plan to book that sometime in the new year, when I’ve studied my theory book and am happy with my knowledge. I also want to start practical lessons, restrictions allowing, and I hope to have my licence by the end of the year. I’d like to get a car if and when I have enough money saved.

Keep saving money

I did really well with saving last year. I came back from Japan with a decent amount of money left (kind of wish I hadn’t and just blew it all on more Japanese stuff and trying wagyu beef), then I saved all of my birthday money, spent a lot less due to the lockdowns. Even despite joining a gifting group, I’ve managed to hang onto a bit of cash every month so I’ve got quite a nice wedge saved. Most of it will go towards driving lessons and passing my tests, but I want to continue the habit of saving up this year for future things like a car, trips, and my future.

Get back into paid work

I’d applied for a couple of things last year, when people were even hiring, but I didn’t get lucky. I had one call-back which was really promising because they loved my CV, but they needed someone with a driving licence. I was pretty gutted. This year I’m redoubling my efforts to get back into paid work before I stagnate again, and I don’t imagine that my 2020 employment gap will raise many questions as a lot of people ended up out of work or unable to get back into work last year. I am still hoping to hear back from a job I applied to before Christmas, but the hopes aren’t very high as they were supposed to start interviews before the New Year. However, with Christmas and the new tiers coming into place, I hope they’ve been delayed and that I will hear something. I just need a chance.

Exercise at least 3 times a week

This can be going to the gym, having a walk at least 3 miles long, or weights and core work at home. It doesn’t really matter which, as long as I manage at least three times a week. Exercise is very helpful for my brain, but I do have to watch how I go because of CFS. Three times a week seems to be the sweet spot – any less isn’t enough to keep me strong and boost my mood, any more means a lot of pain and being stuck in bed recovering for a few days.

Read at least 15 books

I nearly didn’t complete this last year because of lack of concentration and my general ennui with life. I always like to get a decent amount of reading in every year because there are SO MANY BOOKS in the ‘to read’ pile under my bed. Not to mention all of the books on my wishlist that I want to read.

Complete Yearly Purge

This is an annual tradition of mine, involving completely decluttering my space and mind. I find it super helpful to get rid of stuff and organise the things I keep. I also really need to organise the files on my laptop because they’re a mess.

Get to goal weight

I’m hopeful that this can be achieved this year if I keep going I have been. I set a good precedent last year – I lost almost 2 stone, and only put on 0.88lb over Christmas by some miracle. My goal is a pound a week, slow and sustainable. I’m basically going to continue calorie counting and getting as much exercise as I’m able to.

Create a blog post backlog

For a while, I’ve wanted to write up a bunch of drafts that I’ve got ideas for but just never sat down and did them. Having chronic writer’s block doesn’t help. I need to get back into the habit of writing regularly, so I’m stepping away from posting blogs for a while (unless I go somewhere or do something cool). This is so I can focus on all of my ideas and get a good batch of ~content together to post on a more consistent basis. We’ll see how well that works.

Write in daily diary

I got a day-to-page diary because I always forget what I did in a day (my short-term memory has all but disappeared – again, thanks CFS). I want to make sure I write in it every day this year to see if it helps improve my memory. Secondarily, it might also help to write something every day, even if it is just summing up what happened.

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What are your goals for the year? Please tell me so I can potentially nick them from you!

2020 Goals

Happy New Year!

Is it me or does this New Year feel like an even fresher fresh start? Not only are we turning over the leaf to a new year, but a new decade too. As I do every year, I had a good think about what I'd like to achieve in 2020 and made a little list of goals to work from.

Go abroad

I might as well tick this one off already, as I have my trip to Japan booked. I’m going to keep it though, maybe I’ll get to go abroad more than once. You never know.

Learn to drive

I’ve become increasingly frustrated with not being able to drive and relying on public transport everywhere. So this year I’m finally going to learn to drive. Affording to get and maintain a car is a different story entirely, so for this year I’m only focusing on getting my full licence.

Save money as much as possible

Since pulling off the ridiculous saving for Tokyo, I’ve actually gotten a lot more faith in myself when it comes to going without things short-term to afford a better long-term goal. I want to continue to save as much money as I can for trips, driving lessons/test, and things that I want. I’ll also be saving for even bigger things like moving into my own place and getting a car. Obviously that won’t be achieved in a year, but I hope to at least get started.

Get back into paid work

This is pretty self-explanatory. Too much of my life has been put on hold by having a chronic illness and coming to terms with my new limitations, and I’m super impatient to get back to actually living. By the end of the year, I hope to have a job that I like and am interested in. In the meantime, I will also continue to work on skills, learning, building my CV, etc.

Go to the gym 3 times a week

Now that I’ve found my rhythm with going to the gym, I want to continue going very regularly. It’s hard for me in regards to my energy levels, but I can’t deny that I’m so much stronger now and exercising is a real help for my mental health. I want to get even fitter and stronger this year.

Read at least 15 books

I always like to set a reading goal because I often go a long while without reading, for no reason. It’s important to remember that sitting down with a book in the peace and quiet is super beneficial.

Continue habit/symptom tracking

This has been on my goals list for a good few years now, and I’m keeping it there as tracking these things are really useful for monitoring my condition and seeing how I’m doing in a more objective, visual way.

Do Yearly Purge

Another goal that appears every year, and another that is good for my soul. There’s something about a big spring clean and getting rid of things that you never look at or use. I recommend that everyone tries to do this annually – it definitely declutters your mind as well as your home.

Eat more healthily/cut down junk food

For the past couple of years, I’ve been actively trying to be healthier and feel better by staying hydrated, getting regular exercise, practicing mindfulness and keeping up with managing symptoms. My one downfall is food. Don’t get me wrong – I eat better than I ever have in my life. I used to actively fear vegetables, and was a really picky eater. I’ve definitely broadened my palette and become much braver with trying new things. I just really like junk food, and I know I probably have too much of it. This year I’m going to really try to tackle unhealthy food cravings.

Get a tattoo

I am determined to tick this one off, as it’s been on my list for so long and I’m kind of sick of the sight of it. I have plenty of ideas for tattoos and several artist recommendations from my friends, so I think 2020 is the year I’ll take the plunge.

Blog more

I love blogging. But I’m terrible at it. I even blogged about how I suck at blogging. I have constant writer’s block, and often feel like no one would be interested in what I’m writing. I need to get back to blogging for myself, and create a habit of writing all the time again. Let’s hope that I can get my shit together this year.

***
I thought a lot about these goals, as I want to keep them reasonable with consideration to my health. I like to think that these can be achieved, or at least worked on, in the space of a year.

What are your goals for 2020?

2019 Goals Recap

I feel like I was only saying this five minutes ago, but another year has come to a close. Linear time continues to amaze and terrify me. This year hasn’t been massively eventful for me, and has mostly been spent learning how to manage my life with a chronic illness. I’ve simply been too tired and miserable to have a meaningful time. I hope to change that in 2020.

Before New Year (and the start of a new decade!) is upon us, I wanted to go back to my goals for 2019 and review whether I’ve completed them or not.

✘ Get back into work

Unfortunately not. It wasn’t feasible for me at the beginning of the year, and also wouldn’t have been fair on potential employers when I was unreliable and unwell. As the year progressed though, I started thinking about it more. I do currently have a couple of open applications, so fingers crossed that I can get back into work in the new year.

✘ Get a tattoo

I probably could have ticked this off in 2019, but I’ve been squirrelling away as much money as I can possibly spare for another, way more exciting, reason. I’ll go over this a little bit later in the post.

✔ Go to the gym 3 times a week

The beginning of the year wasn’t so good for me and the gym. But, in December, I have established more of a routine. Barring being too unwell, I now go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This was helped immensely by my Mum joining my gym and becoming my buddy. It makes it so much easier to commit to exercise when you have someone to encourage and chivvy you along.

✔ Save money as much as possible

I outdid myself with saving money this year. I made a lot of sacrifices and went without a lot of things I would have liked. This resulted in being able to afford something HUGE for next year – a trip to Tokyo with my oldest bff! I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am. In all fairness, I wouldn’t be going at all if we hadn’t managed to get both the flights and the hotel for half price. It was like fate talking to us through Expedia, and we seized it.

✘ Blog more

I blogged about my trip to Edinburgh, and that’s about it. It also took me three months to actually complete those three posts, which is shocking. I’ve been doing some drafting this year, to hopefully create a kind of ‘backlog’ of posts. I hope this will make me a bit more productive. I miss blogging regularly, and having perpetual writer’s block is depressing.

✔ Continue volunteering

Another year at English Heritage – I love my colleagues and the office I work in, and I’ll be sad to leave when I finally get back into paid employment. For the meantime, it’s been excellent experience and a real learning curve. I hope that the connections I’ve made there will last for a long time, and I think everything I’ve learned will greatly benefit me in my future career. I will continue to volunteer for as long as I have the time.

✔ Read at least 15 books

Predictably, I smashed this goal. It was in doubt for a little while though – I went through a few months of just not having any energy for reading. It was really out of character. I ‘only’ read 16 books this year and here they are, with handy links if you want to have a peek:

• Books 5-9 of the Surviving the Evacuation series (Reunion, Harvest, Home, Anglesey and Ireland) by Frank Tayell
• Th1rt3en by Steve Cavanagh
• The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
• Only Dull People are Brilliant at Breakfast by Oscar Wilde
• The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris
• The Chalk Man by CJ Tudor
• Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
• Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
• Don’t Wake Up by Liz Lawler
• Humans, Bow Down by James Patterson & Emily Raymond
• Killing Critics by Carol O’Connell
• Midnight in Chernobyl by Adam Higginbotham

✔ Do my Yearly Purge and Laptop Tidy

I completed my Yearly Purge in record time. Because I’ve been doing it for years now, I find that I have less and less to get rid of. Only the things I really want to keep stay and every year I try to minimise a bit more. The laptop tidy took longer, as it usually does, and my files are already a total mess again. Keeping my files and online stuff organised is an endless task, it seems.

✘ Go on more trips

I somehow managed to go on less trips this year. This is mostly due to illness and the fact that I’ve been saving, like, all of my money.

✔ Go abroad

Like last year, this was technically completed as Scotland is a different country. As I said before though, going to another country in Britain and saying I went abroad feels a bit like cheating. But I’m still counting it!

✔ Continue to track habits etc

This has become a habit in itself! Sometimes it can be a pain to draw up the charts that I use, especially when I’m feeling fatigued and listless, but I do like seeing how well (or badly) I’m doing from month to month.

✘ Finish travel scrapbook

I’m officially taking this off any future goal lists. Not because I actually got my shit together and finished it, but because I feel too much pressure to do it and end up just avoiding it. I’m sure that doesn’t make any sense, but that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. Hopefully one day I can feel inspired again and get it up to date.

***
I didn’t get as much done as I really wanted to in 2019, but I need to accept that I’ve been unwell and that that has really limited what I can get done. I’m feeling cautiously positive about the coming year, which I don’t set too much stock by as that’s how I always feel. Even so, I really, really hope that 2020 will be the year I get back to some semblance of normal and get my life moving forward again.

I hope everyone has a very happy new year! What are the goals you’ve set for yourself?

HAPPY NEW YEAR! ~ 2019 Goals

We're almost two decades into the 21st century, which is both awesome and horrifying. As we all do every New Year, without fail, I've been thinking about the goals I want to aim for in 2019. I've tried to be a bit more realistic than I have been in past years, so hopefully I'll have a lot more success. We'll see.

Get back into (paid) work

This is the big one for 2019. I'm at a point in my recovery where I feel like I can handle getting back to employment. I usually put ‘career’ for this one, but I feel that’s a big ask to go from technically-unemployed to a Real Career in a year. For now, I just want to get back into work doing something I don’t entirely hate and earning real money.

Reach ‘healthy’ BMI (and/or drop 2 dress sizes)

I’m aware that weight loss might not be very significant, as I’ve been going to the gym and building muscle, so I’ve also added dropping dress sizes to this goal. Regardless of weight, my body is changing shape the more exercise I get, and I think that’s how I’m going to gauge my success more than actual weight. Having said that, I do want to reach a healthy BMI as I’ll feel better in myself for it. Mostly I want to be stronger/fitter and increase my self esteem.

Get a tattoo

I have so many ideas, and no clue which one to pick first, but I will keep putting this on my goals list until I do it.

Go to the gym 3 times a week

In June 2018, I started going to the gym (having never set foot in one in my life before that). I was going twice a week where I could manage it. This year I want to step it up to three gym sessions a week, whether that's my general workout or a class. I am also thinking up a mini workout to do at home when I'm not in the gym. When the weather clears, I'll get back to doing my hikes. And of course I'll keep doing the little things like walking wherever and whenever practical, taking stairs instead of lifts, etc.

Save money as much as possible

I’ve learned that I’m actually better at saving money than I thought, so I want to continue the good habit of putting away as much money as I can spare each month. Obviously at the moment, that's not a huge amount but I hope when I get back into work I'll have the opportunity to put a lot more into savings. Then I can use it for things like travel, having my hair done, saving up to move out. All the nice things.

Blog more

In my 2018 goals recap, I mentioned that I’d been trying to draft/brain dump ideas for posts. I hope that’ll be helpful towards this goal. I do love blogging, I just feel that I’ve had nothing to write about. I think I need to write more for myself again to get back into the swing of it and actually enjoy myself.

Continue volunteering

While I’m still ‘time rich’ (my dad’s phrase), I want to carry on volunteering. It's really good for my mental health as it gets me out of the house and keeps me busy. It plugs what could have been a huge employment gap, as well as giving me lots of new experiences and skills to add to my CV. Also, I'm attached to my organisation and my fabulous colleagues now, and want to be there for as long as I possibly can.

Read at least 15 books

I've smashed this goal two years running, so I’ve increased it a bit from my usual 12. I’m loath to increase it more in case I end up being a lot busier this year (I hope so).

Do my Yearly Purge and Laptop Tidy

An annual tradition now. I want to keep up with it because I'm naturally quite untidy, so doing my big clean in the spring keeps me organised and my spaces tidy and pleasant to be in. I also need to sort out my laptop files as they're a mess.

Go on more trips

Local or national, I want to see more of England/Britain. We have so much to explore and see on our little island and while I have less money to go abroad, I think I need to focus on smaller, more reasonable trips. I'll feel so much better for it – I stagnate when I'm stuck in one place all the time.

Go abroad

I really want to do a ‘big’ trip this year, outside of the country. I miss the thrill of travelling, meeting new people, different cultures and cuisine. I may make a rough cost estimate and save toward that as much as I can. I'm at my happiest when I'm travelling so this is always a positive goal for me to strive for.

Continue to track habits etc

I've said it once and I'll say it again - tracking things in a visual way has been so helpful and enlightening for me. It's good to be able to quantify how well/badly I'm doing, look for patterns, and keep on top of my life. At the moment, I'm tracking:

• Habits (I currently do: waking up at my alarm, hygiene, hydration, exercise, tidying up, to do list, German practice, Swedish practice, reading, no naps, no alcohol, no money spent, no takeaways, take meds, and bed by 11pm)
• Mood/fatigue/pain levels
• Depression levels (using the PHQ9 as a guide)
• Spending logs (monthly, to keep an eye on expenses)
• Savings
• Weight loss/body measurements

This year I have a general 'rough' weekly diary to scribble everything into, but I'm also creating a bullet journal-style book for all of my tracking. Having it all in one place makes more sense and will make it easier for me to see it all 'at a glance'. I may even make a post showing some of my journal if I'm pleased with how it turns out.

Finish travel scrapbook

I swear this just needs to get out of my life now. I'm getting on for five years since I tried to start this project, enough is enough. I need to get it updated this year so I stop feeling guilty about all my travel bits and bobs just sitting in a bag instead of being presented in the book.

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I think that's enough to be going on with! What are your goals for 2019? I'd love to hear them!

2018 Recap

Another year is over, lads. The swift march of time never relents, and I have an existential crisis every time I stop and think about that. 2018 wasn’t a perfect year for me, but I don’t want to dwell on the crapper aspects in this post. So instead, here are my top 5 Good Things from this year:

1. Gaining a new cousin (my aunt and uncle in Australia had Levi in late November), and two new nephews (Rory and Leo, who were born literally a day apart at the beginning of December). A new life is always so exciting!

2. The family was also expanded pet-wise. Of course, I got my beloved hamster-son Poe for my birthday. We now have, as well as the lovely Reggie who appeared last year, two more dogs in our family – Bakari the whippet, and Wilson the French Bulldog. I love animals!

3. My event highlight of the year was of course the Heroes & Villains fest. I had so much fun and met lots of fab people, as well as all of these fools:

4. I started going to the gym in June. This is still frightening to me, but I’ve stuck with it, and I’m proud of myself for persevering when I really felt like I couldn’t.

5. My mental and physical health are so much better than it was this time last year. I still have a way to go but I’ve been working really hard and have actually seen and felt results this year, which is really positive.

As is tradition, I’m going to recap the goals I set myself for the year, as follows…

✘ Reach a healthy BMI

Didn’t manage this one, of course. I’ve also realised that this will take longer to do now that I’m taking regular exercise and building up my muscles. I actually stopped weighing myself this year, and I feel a lot better for it. I may do a monthly weigh next year, or concentrate more on how my measurements change. Anything that’s better for my mental health and self-esteem.

✘ Build up my blog

Hahahahaha no. I can count my blog posts for this year on my hands. I’m trying to brain-dump thoughts and potential blog topics to create a kind of ‘idea pool’ that I can dip into. But I tell ya, writer’s block is a bitch. I’ve been sloooooowly writing this post for actual months just to have it done in time for the New Year.

✘ Get a tattoo

A couple of things held me back from this one. Finances and my own indecision, mainly. One day I might finally be able to achieve this goal, but it is not this day.

✘ Start forging a career

This year, I have been employed all year, just not paid. Voluntary work has really been a saviour, and I’ve put in hundreds of hours. I’ve learned loads and added a heap of new skills and experiences to my CV. So I didn’t start a career this year, but I still think I did some important work towards getting there.

✔ Save money

Because I don’t have a huge amount of money at the moment, it’s not really practical or easy to save up. But I’ve managed to get a little bisschen of money into my savings account, which is better than nothing.

✔ Build up my wardrobe

I feel like I achieved this goal as best as I could, financially. I have some more clothes, shoes and accessories now. I plan to continue with this, as wearing things that I like really boosts my mood and confidence.

✔ Read at least 12 books

Once again, I absolutely smashed this target and read 19 books! Despite being a lot busier than last year, I still managed to read a lot (and I’m not counting articles and other things that I’ve read that don’t qualify as a ‘book’) and learn more. And because I know you’re dying to hear what I’ve been reading, here’s a list:

• Fashion on the Ration by Julie Summers
• Jaws by Peter Benchley
• More Fool Me by Stephen Fry
• The Fireman by Joe Hill
• The Witches Within Westminster by Peter Buckland
• Disease and History by Frederick F. Cartwright & Michael Biddiss
• I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison
• From Here To Eternity by Caitlin Doughty
• If Walls Could Talk by Lucy Worsley
• Nathaniel’s Nutmeg by Giles Milton
• Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
• The Alienist by Caleb Carr
• Mindhunter by John Douglas & Mark Olshaker
• Books 1-4 of the Surviving the Evacuation series (London, Wasteland, Family and Unsafe Haven) by Frank Tayell
• The Penguin Book of Modern British Short Stories
• The Century Girls by Tessa Dunlop

✔ Do my Yearly Purge

I actually did this on time this year! I usually like to do the Yearly Purge around March (because springtime I guess), and this year I started and finished it in that month. After it took so long to do last year, I’m pleased. I also expanded my stuff to my ‘lounge’ (used to be little brother’s bedroom, but is now a spare room/my office) so I have more space to spread out and keep things neat.

✔ Pay off my overdraft

I did it! I am so incredibly pleased with myself; I cleared £1500 in just over a year when I didn’t have much of an income. I feel a lot less burdened now that I know that’s done with, and now I have no debt (except student loans but who even counts that).

✔ Take better care of myself

I have definitely been doing this. For a start, I joined the gym in June, which is completely out of character and weird. I already feel a bit of a difference, mostly in my strength, and friends and family say my shape is changing and toning up (can I just lose this beach ball stomach pls?). I’ve kept up with hydration and eating right, but I haven’t sacrificed the small treats and pleasures in life. I’m also just being kinder overall to myself, instead of holding me up to ridiculous standards that I can’t meet. My recovery has come along in leaps this year, and I’m finally feeling the difference.

✔ Go abroad at least once

Does Wales count? I know it’s technically a different country, but it’s also part of overall Britain. So it’s pretty contended whether that counts as ‘abroad’. Even so, that was a lovely holiday with my brother Ryan, his partner Aaron, Aaron’s friend Xenia, and her little boy Ziggy. It was nice to get away, and we were blessed with good weather for most of the week. I can’t thank Ryan and Aaron enough for thinking to invite me and forbidding me from giving them money for it. They’re too cute.

✔ Continue to track habits etc

Still doin’ it. It’s actually really helpful and I’m going to continue – not just next year, but probably for the foreseeable future. I feel so much more organised, and it’s good for me to have these things all written in one place to ground myself and have a visual representation of how well or badly things are going. I also started a symptom diary in an attempt to identify triggers for symptoms, or even just a pattern.

✔ Continue learning

I never stop, man. Even if it’s something small like a new word, I always try to learn new things. My volunteering has been a huge source of learning this year, especially since joining the HR team as an administrator (as well as my editor position). It’s definitely given me some transferable skills for when I’m back in paid employment. Aside from that, my biggest learning things have been studying exercise and muscles (anatomy and how they work/develop), and also starting to learn Swedish (I find it has similarities to both English and German, so I clicked with it almost straight away).

✘ Bake regularly

Nope, not nearly enough. I baked mostly things that I’ve already done/written about. I really need to start challenging myself again with this. I’m also trying to plan what to bake far in advance, as that gives me time to prepare and know what I’m doing.

✘ Get to 6000 followers

I find that people on twitter are really fickle and a lot of people just want a follow back, or they unfollow you immediately. Unless you’re ridiculously funny (which I am, obviously, but no one appreciates genius my pals), you don’t gain organic followers that easily. I find with social media, though, I’ve definitely stopped with the whole ‘GAIN ALL THE FOLLOWERS’ mentality. I’m much happier just doing my own thing and enjoying it instead of making it into a chore to be agonised over. And if people like what I post, that’s an added bonus!

✘ Finish travel scrapbook

When will my motivation return from the war? The travel scrapbook is in its fourth year and counting, and I still haven’t even started sticking in stuff from my New York trip in 2014. The scrapbook continues to sit there, mocking me and my procrastination.

~

I would say my goals were about half-and-half this year. I knew some of them probably wouldn’t be achieved, but I’m happy with what I managed to do. I just have to keep going, and try to be better.

Happy New Year!

January Blues

Ah, January. The start of a new year. All the gyms suddenly fill up, companies try to sell diet plans on the telly, and dry January becomes a thing. Everyone’s talking about their goals and resolutions, vowing to make this year the Best Year Yet. Social media is full of people talking about all of their exciting plans. I’m so guilty of this too (hard evidence as shown in my New Year Goals post); I think it’s in the back of a lot of people’s minds. It’s like the New Year fireworks were starting pistols on our aspirations for the coming year.

Is it really good for us though? We put ourselves under enormous pressure to become immediately better – “New year, new me!” is a common phrase in January. But honestly, Christmas was only five minutes ago, and if you’re anything like me you ate a lot of a food that was terrible for you (my recently-lifted chocolate ban didn’t help matters). You probably also drank more alcohol and moved less. The weather was shite, which makes people feel miserable as it is. January is a post-indulgence slump and a weird, suspended time where people are easing back into work and everyday life. Nobody knows what day it is. Everyone feels a bit wistful because after all the months of planning, buying, and decorating, the festive period is over and everyone is grumpy again – it’s cold and we’re all skint. Looking at it like this makes me think we’re all mad for wanting to stress ourselves more with resolutions to look better, feel better, be better.

Just because our calendars dictate that a new year has begun (I’m still pissed at Pope Gregory XIII for putting these constraints on us), doesn’t mean that you have to instantly change or attain your goals. I’m not magically well again and I need to stop holding myself up to ridiculous standards. Saying “Omg, it’s 10 days into 2018 and you’ve done NOTHING.” is really unhelpful. Quite aside from the fact that I have done things, there are 355-ish days left of the year, plenty of time to work on my list of goals for 2018. My ultimate downfall is trying to look really far ahead instead of focusing on smaller, more attainable tasks that will eventually add up to my Ultimate Goals. I think it’s an anxiety thing – constantly feeling like you’re running out of time, even though you objectively aren’t.

It’s brilliant to have goals and to want to improve yourself and your life, obviously. But it shouldn’t come at the expense of your mental or physical health. Goals should be just that: something to work towards, and not to beat yourself up over. Some things you want to do simply won’t be possible in the relatively short time of a year, and that’s ok. Part of my recovery process is learning to be a lot nicer to myself. It’s arduous as I’m incredibly, notoriously hard on myself and hold myself up to standards that I can’t possibly meet right now. Acknowledging the shitness of January and how crap I feel post-festivities, and the fact that “New year, new me!” is a positive statement and not an order, is part of my self-care. I need to make the time to feel rubbish for a bit, and get some rest.

I think I will follow Chinese New Year (16th February) this year. I’ve decided, for my own mental wellbeing, that January is a write-off, a prep month for the actual year. Apologies to my Mum, Nan, Stepmum, best pal Lana, and everyone else who was born in January (happy birthday btw) – your month is crummy and I refuse to participate.

I’m aware that my very sporadic blogging has been pretty negative of late, but let’s be honest - I’m not exactly in a positive place. Unfortunately you get all of me, including the shite. This post came completely by surprise; I was suddenly awash with the urge to write something about how shoddy it all is and seized that by the horns. Maybe next I’ll write about being the most half-arsed blogger of All Time. We’ll see.

How do you tackle January blues and find motivation? How do you function like an actual person when everything’s a bit miserable? I’d love to hear your thoughts and strategies – so I can immediately nick them and try them out. Despite my moaning, I hope everyone, me included (being nicer to myself, see?), has a great 2018!

Happy New Year! - 2018 Goals

I had a good New Year's Eve. Caz and I went to see The Last Jedi - I'd already seen it a few days before but was so up for watching it again. We went a bit nuts with the merchandise at the cinema, and the film was somehow even better than the first time I saw it.

We had some grub at Pizza Hut, then went to Caz's house to scream at Resident Evil 7 (it's seriously good, and terrifying). As I write this, I am enjoying my first chocolate in a whole year - some beautifully posh white chocolate skulls from Maple Molly's. I waited until Big Ben finished his BONGs before eating one, so it could be 'properly' 2018.

Following my recap/goals post, I've written a list of goals to aim for this year.

2018 Goals

Reach a healthy BMI

I was doing well in the middle of 2017, but got a little worse at the end of the year (winter, am I right?). I need to get back on it, and continue working towards a weight I'm more comfortable at.

Build up my blog

I want to find my blogging groove again, and eventually restart a new domain. We'll see how my terminal writer's block treats me - I hope I can start making good posts that I'm proud of.

Get a tattoo

This will probably be on my list every year.

Start forging a career

I need to find some purpose, and a job/career that I actually enjoy and want to do. As well as this, I want to continue volunteering with English Heritage for as long as possible, as I love it there.

Save money

I want to be able to do more this year, and of course you need money to do almost everything. I definitely want to go to Heroes & Villains again, so if I at least manage that I'll be happier.

Build up my wardrobe

A lot of my crap self-esteem comes from never looking how I want to look (shallow but true). I want to try to build my wardrobe to include clothes that I love. I'm hoping to get at least one thing every month, money providing. It will feel so much better to have more than just 3 plain tops and leggings.

Read at least 12 books in the year

I did myself proud with reading in 2017, and I want to continue that trend this year. I'm kicking it all off with Fashion on the Ration by Julie Summers.

Do my Yearly Purge

Every year I sort through all of my stuff and get rid of a bunch of things, then rearrange and tidy it all. It's always a really cleansing activity, and it usually happens during the spring (even though it took me months to do in 2017, oops). This year I hope to be super brutal and get rid of tonnes of stuff because I feel claustrophobic.

Pay off my overdraft

It's my only debt - student loans so don't count. If I continue how I'm going currently, it'll be gone by the end of November. I'm pleased with myself for doing the responsible thing and shifting it.

Take better care of myself

This is a general one, but it's very important. I want to keep eating better, staying hydrated, and being kinder to myself. I want to keep up with counselling and physiotherapy as well as persevering with medication. I want to get stronger and become well again.

Go abroad at least once

I highly doubt I'll have the funds for this, but I still want to try. I hope to go to Germany again in the winter, though I haven't decided exactly where yet.

Continue to track habits etc.

I currently track: habits, mood, expenses, depression levels, weight loss, and overdraft payments. I'm very visual, so it's been helpful to see it in front of me. It's also made me think twice about spending too much, which helps.

Continue learning

I really want to pick up hieroglyphics again - I stopped doing them early in 2017 and just didn't have the energy to get back to it. I want to finish the textbook I have on them and practice them more. I also hope to keep up with my German practice, and learn new things - hair and make-up, maybe start drawing again, things like that. I love to learn, so I think it'll be good for my mental health to teach myself more.

Bake regularly

I got back into the swing of baking towards the end of 2017, so I hope to keep on with that. It gives me something to focus on, and I enjoy doing it. This year I'll be able to taste-test chocolate recipes too, which is a bonus.

Get to 6000 followers on twitter

A silly one, as always. But I'm just over 4500, so I want to see if I can break 6k by the end of the year.

FINALLY finish my travel scrapbook

I started the bloody thing in 2014, and I'm still not finished with my summer camp adventures from that year. I have so much stuff I need to put in there, and I'm determined to sort that out!

***
I hope you all had a great New Year's Eve, and have a very excellent 2018! What are your goals and wishes for the year?

2017 Recap & Review of Goals

I hate to start a post on a negative note, but 2017 hasn't been a great year for me. I was depressed to the point of having to leave my job in July, and it took at least another month for me to even think about the long road of recovery. Since then, I've done everything that I can. I'm regularly meeting with my GP for medication reviews, and seeing my counsellor as often as possible. I referred myself to physiotherapy in an attempt to make my knees less agonising. I'm trying to take care of myself to minimise my Chronic Fatigue symptoms. I still have a long way to go, but I am definitely in a better place than I was 6 months ago.

Of course, it wasn't all rubbish. I had some great times at Heroes & Villains in May, and the Harry Potter studio tour in July. My family and friends have been endlessly supportive - I couldn't have carried on without them. I've regained some of my interests again - I've been reading and baking a lot more. I started listening to some true-crime podcasts; my favourites are The Vanished, Sword & Scale, and Casefile - give me your recommendations! Last month, I started volunteering with English Heritage as an assistant editor, which has given me purpose and valuable experience. I'm also, for the first time in I-don't-remember, thinking about the future and trying to make an action plan for it.

At the start of the year, I wrote a list of goals for 2017. In this post, I'm just going to have a recap of them and see which ones (if any) I managed to complete, or work towards. I've put the goals in fabulous traffic-light colours: red for completely failed; orange for partially progressed; green for 100% done!

"Get my blog off the ground."

Definitely not. I fully deleted my website in July, because it was just gathering dust and becoming a source of anxiety rather than something I enjoyed doing. I returned to this Blogspot for the time being, which turned out to be a good decision as I've barely written anything. I've been too focused on trying to get my shit back together.

"Lose 60 pounds."

LOL NO. However, I have lost 25 pounds overall. I stopped thinking or caring about it throughout December, the month of excess - I refuse to deprive myself at Christmas. So I've probably put on a stone or something. Considering this, and the horrible state of my mental health this year, I think I've done ok. I'm taking the slow and steady route, because I don't want to give up anything I enjoy, and that's the only sustainable way to lose weight.

"Save money for trips/leisure/moving out."

Because I had to quit my job (and it was only part-time, so it didn't pay tonnes anyway), my income has been pitiful this year. But I have managed to put some money into savings - mostly Christmas money, and putting away whatever remains at the end of each month. I won't have enough to do much in the near future, but I'm hoping to keep adding to it bit by bit.

"Continue to track habits/expenses."

I did this for the whole year. It got annoying at times because I had so many bad days, but it was helpful to see how things started to improve towards the end. I've also added a new thing to my tracking - a mood chart. Every day I plot a point on there corresponding to my mood and, at the end of the month, I can see how much my moods fluctuate and how good or bad things were. I've noticed that the charts are a lot less spiky than when I started, meaning my mood isn't having extreme changes like it was before.

"Keep up with daily diary."

For the FIRST TIME EVER, I have completed a daily diary. I don't think I'll be doing one in 2018, quite simply because it's a drag. I don't have much to talk about really, and it gets annoying having to write every single day. I don't have the patience or discipline for that. So I might give myself a break in 2018, as a reward for finally finishing a whole diary instead of giving up on it halfway through the year.

"Continue learning."

This one is orange because I haven't been learning as much as I'd like to. I still haven't picked hieroglyphics back up, but I got back into my daily German practice. I've also been reading a lot about all sorts of subjects (particularly morbid ones), so I've gained lots of useless but interesting knowledge. I'm happiest when I learn new things, so this has helped me somewhat.

"Get at least one new tattoo."

Nein. Sad face. I simply didn't have the money.

"Read at least one book a month."

Not only did I manage one book a month, I actually ended up reading 21 books! Nearly two years' worth, if you go by the one-a-month thing. Some of them were re-reads, but I'm still pleased that I managed to get through so many. I love to read, and getting my love for it back was such a gift this year. Here's a list of the books I read because I know you're all dying to find out:

IT - Stephen King (re-read, because of the movie coming out in September)

Murder House - James Patterson & David Ellis

Feed - Mira Grant

Deadline - Mira Grant

Blackout - Mira Grant

The Walking Dead: The Fall of the Governor Pt.2 - Robert Kirkman & Jay Bonansinga (I've been meaning to finish the Governor series for ages, so I was glad to finally read this one)

Consider the Fork - Bee Wilson

Heart-Shaped Box - Joe Hill

Heartbreaker - Tania Carver

Pendulum - Adam Hamdy

Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix - J.K. Rowling (re-read)

Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince - J.K. Rowling (re-read)

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling (re-read)

The Girl on the Train - Paula Hawkins

The Stand - Stephen King

The Last Secret of the Temple - Paul Sussman

The Button Box - Lynn Knight

The Templars Quest - C.M. Palov

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes - Caitlin Doughty (probably my favourite book of the year - check it out!)

Insomnia - Stephen King

The Family That Couldn't Sleep - D.T. Max

Please, please, please recommend me some books for next year! I read literally everything, fiction or non-fiction. My favourite categories are: thriller, horror, true crime, medical (particularly neurology and psychology), anything to do with death and forensics, and history.

"Keep up with hydration and eating properly."

Though I have good days and bad days (who doesn't?), I will say that I've gotten to a good place with this. I'm staying hydrated without over-hydrating, which I was doing for a while, and I don't overeat or snack all the time. As I said in the weight loss bit above, I'm not trying to eat super healthily or be on a diet. I still want to enjoy food, but I want to draw the line and not overeat.

"Hit 5000 followers on Twitter."

This was a bit of a silly one, but I adore twitter and how awful I am on there. I didn't hit 5k, but I did pass 4,500 which isn't bad at all. If you're not already following, go do that.

"Bake regularly."

I'm not saying this was a fully-completed goal, as I stopped baking for a long time after last year's Christmas bake madness. I baked 14 recipes in 14 days, while working, and it burned me out. Then I just wasn't in the mood to make the effort. Autumn and Halloween breathed new life into me, however, and since then I've been baking somewhat regularly. And, even better, I'm actually enjoying it again. 

"Move to London."

Well, we all knew this was never going to happen. It's still a pipe-dream unfortunately. I would love to move to London, because that's where most of the opportunities for my industry are, and I love the city/hate my hometown. I doubt I'll keep this for my 2018 list; I'm realistic enough to know it won't happen.

"Do yoga every evening."

Definitely not. I just had no interest in yoga, except for the Corpse Pose. I did start physiotherapy, though, and a couple of my exercises that I will be starting in the new year include yoga poses to help loosen up my stupidly tight muscles and ease my knee pain (hopefully).

"Take care of my nails."

I've had far too much anxiety this year, so dermatillomania has reared its ugly head. My nails will grow to a cute length, then I'll pick them or they just snap because they're really brittle. As for my cuticles and skin around my nails, they are casualties to the picking (as well as my lips - chapped forever). I've been doing it less as I've started to recover, so hopefully I can get this under control.

"Spend less frivolously."

When I left my job, I started taking this one seriously. I didn't have as much money coming in, and I was keeping an eye on my expenses. I'd also been told I had 15 months to pay back my £1500 overdraft from university. So most of my money has been going on that and bills. I think hard before I buy anything (leading to a bit of a breakdown over shampoo, which I needed). It's been good and bad. But the small amount of savings I've gathered wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't monitored my spending.

"Give up chocolate for the whole year."

I actually managed to do it! Despite how terrible I felt, when a bit of chocolate would've been a godsend, I went the entirety of 2017 without a smidge of it! The biggest challenges were Easter, when I baked with chocolate (had to resist the urge to taste-test), and of course Christmas. I'm so excited to have some chocolate as soon as Big Ben finishes his BONGs at midnight!

***
I've made a list of goals for 2018 - some of them are the same or similar to these, but there are also new ones. I'm trying to be a bit more realistic about it and kinder to myself. I'm going into 2018 with a very tentative positivity - I really hope that this is the year I can turn things around and start getting on with my life.

2017 - Goals For The Year

I’m really not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I have an innate guilt complex, so not achieving resolutions sends me into a spiral of self-deprecation. However, I like having a list of goals. Pretty contradictory, I know, but the word ‘goals’ is less intimidating to me and if I didn’t write down things to work towards, I’d never get anything done. So here they are, realistic or not – the goals I want to work towards in 2017.

• Get my blog off the ground, continuing to update regularly and connect with other blogs that I enjoy.
• Lose weight.
• Save up money for trips and leisure, as well as towards moving out of my parental home.
• Continue to track habits, mood/symptoms, and expenses. Try to stay organised and learn any patterns between the things that I track.
• Keep up with the daily diary that I bought for this year. Write a few lines every day about what I did, how I feel, and daily stats.
• Continue learning. I will continue studying hieroglyphs, but I’d like to start learning calligraphy and sign language.
• Get at least one new tattoo.
• Read at least one book a month. I’m a self-confessed bookworm, I always have been, but I’ve been slacking. I used to read so much. I’d like to get back into the habit, and spend less time just dossing around.
• Keep up with hydration and eating properly.
• Hit 5000 followers on Twitter.
• Bake regularly, and challenge myself with it. I need to do more awesome recipes, like the shattered glass cupcakes I made for Halloween.
• Do yoga every evening. I’ve found it incredibly helpful for my joints and muscles (I have a lot of pain in them due to fibromyalgia), and I think it would be good for me to do it really regularly.
• Look after my nails. I want to have lovely, tidy nails by the end of 2017. I’m tired of my hands being wrecked from dermatillomania – back in 2011, I managed to get it under control and had well-kept nails. If I can get back there by the end of the year, I’ll be happy!
• Spend less frivolously. This ties in with saving money (as above), but I felt it needed its own bullet point. I’m guilty of impulse buying and spending on things that aren’t really essential. I need to do less of that.
• Finally, I’m going to give up chocolate for the whole year. I’m not a huge chocoholic, but I do eat it fairly regularly, and I do sometimes get a real hankering for it. I feel like cutting it out will help tremendously with eating better and losing weight. I was inspired to do this by my brother Liam and sister-in-law Ashleigh, who cut chocolate out for the whole of 2016.

Hello 2016

For the most part, 2015 was a crap year. I spent most of the year feeling rubbish, full of depression and anxiety. It was like my life had just ground to a halt. Dealing with the losses of my grandad Dave and my poor furball Jackson quite early on in the year also made things really difficult.

However, hindsight is 20/20, and looking back on 2015 has made me realise that a lot of good things also happened. When you're in the middle of so much rubbish, you really don't notice when the positive stuff happens. And positive stuff did happen....

• My lovely nephew Ethan was born! A new life really counters losing loved ones, and he really brightens up my day when I see him. Another new life this year was Sirius, my new furry friend. He's also therapeutic to have around, and has helped me a lot throughout this year.
• I've gotten more physically healthy, despite quite often being too depressed to get up. I am now a hydration bore because I drink at least a litre and a half of water every day and it's been a big improvement. I've moved around a lot more, and kept an eye on my food intake, and I managed to lose a stone! I also look after my skin a lot more now, and it's positively glowing.
• I got a job that I actually enjoy (that is now a permanent position, by the way - hurrah!). I work with great people, and I'm getting my social skills game back on track. It's been so good for me.
• Speaking of social stuff, I also became good friends with Susie this year. She's helped me through a lot and we've had some fun, crazy experiences.
• I went to Oxford for the first time and got to strike off a few sights on my wanderlust list.
• The introduction of my baking blog, Sugar Induced Coma, and doing a lot more baking.
• I also hit 2000 followers on twitter - I'm so pathetic that getting validation on there is an achievement for me.

On Tuesday, I was struck down with the gross cold that's been going around lately, but I managed to make it to midnight to see the fireworks at Big Ben on TV and watch Bryan Adams' great set. Then I simply had to go to bed because I was so woozy and tired. It was a pretty anti-climactic end to the year, to be honest. This blog entry has taken me forever to write, because I've mostly been resting up today. 

But anyway, here are my goals for 2016. As I said this time last year, I don't like to set resolutions because I feel too much like a failure if I don't do them. Goals are more kind, and it's something to just aim for, and if I only get some of the way towards achieving them it's a good thing.

• Learn a new skill, like practicing cake decorating more, learning to dance, German, or something.
• Go to Berlin in February (I know I'm going to achieve this because it's already booked and I am soooo excited!).
• See more places on my wanderlust list.
• Find exercises that I actually like doing, and do them loads.
• Go back to eating better and staying super hydrated.
• Lose 3 stone (or aim for it - I doubt that I'll lose that much in just a year, but that's the endgame).
• Work hard and get more hours at my job, look for opportunities to work my way up in the company.
• Go out more and redevelop my social life, make more friends, meet blokes, etc.
• Take more photos of the world around me.
• Continue to work on being nicer to myself, and not being so harsh on myself when I find setbacks.
• Get another tattoo!
• Get my bra size measured for the first time in aaaages, and get a nice new bra or five.
• Hit 5000 twitter followers because I dream big, son.
• Practice German every day, ever.
• Keep up with my regular baking, and posting on Sugar Induced Coma.
• Read a lot more - I've really not read enough lately, and I want to get back into the habit of reading loads like I used to.
• Blog on here at least once a week.
• Journal seriously, and loads more.
• Keep up with hair, nails, and skin care.

Loads of goals. But I feel good about it - it's good to aim for something, and I'm glad that I'm feeling a lot more optimistic about this year. I feel like I can really take on these goals and maybe get a few of them done! So here's to 2016, I hope it's a brilliant one for everyone!

Goals for 2015

On Wednesday, I was diagnosed with anaemia and a low blood count, which kind of explains how tired and rough I've been feeling lately. I've been prescribed some iron tablets in order to fix it, so with any luck I'll actually start feeling better some time soon. Anyway, in my exhausted and sick state today, I finally got down to writing a comprehensive list of all of the goals I want to work on during the coming year - they are as follows.....

• Get one of the internships I've applied for, and get my career started
• Work my way out of my overdraft
• Bake more, and collect recipes
• Start painting again
• Blog more, and blog meaningfully
• Get back to a size 10/back in shape - I'm not going to go a mad diet, restrict my food, or over exert myself. I'm just going to make more sensible choices, control my portion sizes and what I eat, and take it slowly. I'm sick of being so disgusted with my weight
• Read all the time
• Have a nice cup of tea every day
• Keep learning (new knowledge and learning/improving skills)
• Take more photos of the world around me
• Write in my diary every day, practice taking note of positive things that happen, no matter how small
• Donate to charity/volunteer (particularly to Mind and Help For Heroes)
• Organise day trips to museums, historical places, and places of natural beauty
• Try to complete items on my bucket list 
• Look after myself physically (staying hydrated, eating and sleeping properly, treating aforementioned anaemia, keeping up with skincare/doing my nails, etc) and mentally (work through depression and anxiety, keep up with journaling, etc)

I also want a new tattoo this year, but that's less of an important goal. That's just a 'whenever I have the money to spare' plan, and if it happens this year - great! If not, shit happens. I hope I can achieve my goals or come a significant way towards achieving them; even the slightest bit of progress is good, as long as I'm not standing still. Here's to 2015!

NYE - A Look Back At 2013 & Onward To 2014

Highlights of 2013

• The introduction of my new furry friend, Jackson! After the immense sadness at the beginning of the year when my dearest Scrabble died, having another little hamster to dote on eased the pain a bit. Jackson is no longer little now, but big and fat and playful, and he's been a great addition to the family.
• On March 17th, Norman Reedus (e.g. Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead and all round sweetheart and sex god) followed me on twitter, and still follows me to this day!
• I turned 21, a milestone age!
• This year in May was the first time I attended Comic Con at London; it was blogged about extensively on here, and was so much fun! I definitely want to go again some time soon!
• I also gave blood for the first time, and still get a little rush of pride when I think about it.
• Ashleigh's hen party - also blogged about here, the whole night was so much fun and cemented my belief that my brother chose the right lady to marry.
• I sold my soul to Apple and got an iPhone, and it may as well be surgically attached to my hand now.
• My darling brother Liam got married to Ashleigh, on the 15th August. I wrote about it here, and it's one of my fondest memories - not just of this year, but of my life. It was the most beautiful, happy day, and I got to be a bridesmaid for the third time in my whole life, but the first time as an adult!
• I began my final year of university; I will soon be spat out of academia and into the world of being a real adult! In addition to this, an honorary mention of my flat this year has to be made. I'm so happy with the people I live with, they're brilliant! I'm glad this wasn't a repeat of where I lived in my first year. My flatmates have made uni fun again for me, and I thank them so much for that!
• I visited Caz in Manchester for the first time, and that was a lot of fun - even though I was sickened at how inexpensive some absolutely beautiful flats are there!
• Getting Lana drunk for the first time was a highlight; I was very proud of how well she holds her drink! I'm glad I could get her out and having a laugh with me and my wonderful flatmates, and I'm happy that she enjoyed herself so much!
• My health kick and general life upheaval beginning to take form (more on this when I talk about my goals for 2014).
• The Flat 1 London outing and Christmas party - two very enjoyable days with my flatmates before leaving for the Christmas holidays! We ate and drank and shopped and had lots of fun; it was great as a last hurrah!
• I wrote a dissertation for the first time ever. I have written about language and communication difficulties faced by people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders, and I am so proud of how it's come out, and the fact that I've actually finished it! I enjoyed myself writing it, but it was easily the hardest piece of academic work I've ever done.
• The Christmas holiday has been one of my best yet. Seeing all of my family and being back at home is wonderful, I've been able to annoy the hamster every day and eaten far more than I should have. Christmas Day was spent at my Mutti's with her, Martin, Ryan, Nan and Dave. Later, we were joined by Liam & Ashleigh; Arron, Kim & Harvey; Paula, Steven & Ellie; and David! So I got to see all the siblings on Mutti and Martin's side. Boxing Day Liam, Ashleigh and I went over to Vati's, where we and Kath were joined by Nan, Uncle Paul and great Uncle George. More food and presents occurred! And yesterday, I went for dinner with Mutti, Ryan, Liam, Ashleigh, Gramps and Maggie, as well as my Uncle Adrian who has come over from Australia, and his girlfriend Jacqui! It was bloody delicious, and I think I have put on about a tonne of weight, but it's been such a happy time!

Photo Collages

I made some collages of a few of my favourite photos from this year! It was hard to narrow them down, because I take so many photos and there were so many great ones, but here's the collages I ended up with:

Goals for 2014

• Finish my degree and graduate from university.
• Continuation of the aforementioned health/life kick: Swim lots more and get fitter, watch my eating habits and be more healthy, keep up with counselling and my journal.
• Get a job - the thing I'm most interested in at the moment is teaching English in Germany. Liam's friend Colin is doing a similar thing in China, and he doesn't have to know Mandarin because the kids are only allowed to speak English in his class; I want to see if there is something similar in Germany as I would like that experience, and also to work on my German so I can speak it better! That's only one possible avenue though, of course.
• Save up some money and get an apartment (either somewhere in England or in Berlin)
• Have a holiday - I'm hoping Rome will be a possibility!
• Do all of the London museums that I haven't seen - Natural History, Imperial War, Science and the Tower of London.
• Blog more here, and blog properly!

This evening, Caz and I are going to have a feast of mainly tequila and whiskey and it's going to be a bloodbath. Happy New Year to you all, and I hope 2014 is everything you hope for!