Learning The Word 'Yes'

This blog has, yet again, become pretty derelict. I'm very aware that there aren't many people who would give much of a crap about my life and what's happening in it, but I like to blog. I like having somewhere to talk about fun things, bad things, interesting things. So here I am, yet again, trying to revive this blog.

The title of this post is referring to the fact that I've spent too much time hiding myself away, cancelling plans, and saying 'no' by default. It's a harsh side-effect of being depressed - you know you will probably have fun if you forced yourself to go out, but the motivation to make yourself get up, get dressed and presentable, and head out to meet someone/go somewhere, is just absent. It's a vicious cycle, though - the more you say no because you can't face going out, the more bitter and upset you feel about never going anywhere, doing anything, or seeing anyone. This has been me for most of 2015, and I'm now trying to break out of that damaging cycle.

Saying yes to things is difficult, but I'm trying my best to start agreeing to plans and making myself do things. So this week, so far, I have these plans!

• Tomorrow - I'm going to do some miscellaneous errands, finally download and watch the Hannibal finale, and I will be baking a lemon drizzle traybake. Mum asked if I could make one absolutely aaaages ago, and I've finally got the courage to give it a whirl.
• Wednesday - An early start because Ryan and I are catching the 9:30 coach to London for the day! We're going to go on a search for Nicki Minaj's Myx Moscato in the only place that (apparently) stocks it. We will also wander around some museums and just generally have a good day out in the big smoke. It'll be nice to spend a bit of time with my little brother in one of my favourite places in the world.
• Thursday - In the evening, Susie has invited me out to a cocktail bar that is also a hair salon (I know, I don't get it either but it sounds interesting); apparently it's quite a classy little place so we'll be wearing gorgeous dresses and red lippy and cocktails are actually my favourite thing in the world. It's going to be so fun!

I'm proud of myself just for these little things. There is also an embryonic plan with Caz to go bowling at the weekend, which is always a laugh. Maybe I'll have some stuff to actually talk about on this blog soon. Here's to hoping, anyway.