2019 Goals Recap

I feel like I was only saying this five minutes ago, but another year has come to a close. Linear time continues to amaze and terrify me. This year hasn’t been massively eventful for me, and has mostly been spent learning how to manage my life with a chronic illness. I’ve simply been too tired and miserable to have a meaningful time. I hope to change that in 2020.

Before New Year (and the start of a new decade!) is upon us, I wanted to go back to my goals for 2019 and review whether I’ve completed them or not.

✘ Get back into work

Unfortunately not. It wasn’t feasible for me at the beginning of the year, and also wouldn’t have been fair on potential employers when I was unreliable and unwell. As the year progressed though, I started thinking about it more. I do currently have a couple of open applications, so fingers crossed that I can get back into work in the new year.

✘ Get a tattoo

I probably could have ticked this off in 2019, but I’ve been squirrelling away as much money as I can possibly spare for another, way more exciting, reason. I’ll go over this a little bit later in the post.

✔ Go to the gym 3 times a week

The beginning of the year wasn’t so good for me and the gym. But, in December, I have established more of a routine. Barring being too unwell, I now go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This was helped immensely by my Mum joining my gym and becoming my buddy. It makes it so much easier to commit to exercise when you have someone to encourage and chivvy you along.

✔ Save money as much as possible

I outdid myself with saving money this year. I made a lot of sacrifices and went without a lot of things I would have liked. This resulted in being able to afford something HUGE for next year – a trip to Tokyo with my oldest bff! I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am. In all fairness, I wouldn’t be going at all if we hadn’t managed to get both the flights and the hotel for half price. It was like fate talking to us through Expedia, and we seized it.

✘ Blog more

I blogged about my trip to Edinburgh, and that’s about it. It also took me three months to actually complete those three posts, which is shocking. I’ve been doing some drafting this year, to hopefully create a kind of ‘backlog’ of posts. I hope this will make me a bit more productive. I miss blogging regularly, and having perpetual writer’s block is depressing.

✔ Continue volunteering

Another year at English Heritage – I love my colleagues and the office I work in, and I’ll be sad to leave when I finally get back into paid employment. For the meantime, it’s been excellent experience and a real learning curve. I hope that the connections I’ve made there will last for a long time, and I think everything I’ve learned will greatly benefit me in my future career. I will continue to volunteer for as long as I have the time.

✔ Read at least 15 books

Predictably, I smashed this goal. It was in doubt for a little while though – I went through a few months of just not having any energy for reading. It was really out of character. I ‘only’ read 16 books this year and here they are, with handy links if you want to have a peek:

• Books 5-9 of the Surviving the Evacuation series (Reunion, Harvest, Home, Anglesey and Ireland) by Frank Tayell
• Th1rt3en by Steve Cavanagh
• The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
• Only Dull People are Brilliant at Breakfast by Oscar Wilde
• The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris
• The Chalk Man by CJ Tudor
• Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
• Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
• Don’t Wake Up by Liz Lawler
• Humans, Bow Down by James Patterson & Emily Raymond
• Killing Critics by Carol O’Connell
• Midnight in Chernobyl by Adam Higginbotham

✔ Do my Yearly Purge and Laptop Tidy

I completed my Yearly Purge in record time. Because I’ve been doing it for years now, I find that I have less and less to get rid of. Only the things I really want to keep stay and every year I try to minimise a bit more. The laptop tidy took longer, as it usually does, and my files are already a total mess again. Keeping my files and online stuff organised is an endless task, it seems.

✘ Go on more trips

I somehow managed to go on less trips this year. This is mostly due to illness and the fact that I’ve been saving, like, all of my money.

✔ Go abroad

Like last year, this was technically completed as Scotland is a different country. As I said before though, going to another country in Britain and saying I went abroad feels a bit like cheating. But I’m still counting it!

✔ Continue to track habits etc

This has become a habit in itself! Sometimes it can be a pain to draw up the charts that I use, especially when I’m feeling fatigued and listless, but I do like seeing how well (or badly) I’m doing from month to month.

✘ Finish travel scrapbook

I’m officially taking this off any future goal lists. Not because I actually got my shit together and finished it, but because I feel too much pressure to do it and end up just avoiding it. I’m sure that doesn’t make any sense, but that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. Hopefully one day I can feel inspired again and get it up to date.

***
I didn’t get as much done as I really wanted to in 2019, but I need to accept that I’ve been unwell and that that has really limited what I can get done. I’m feeling cautiously positive about the coming year, which I don’t set too much stock by as that’s how I always feel. Even so, I really, really hope that 2020 will be the year I get back to some semblance of normal and get my life moving forward again.

I hope everyone has a very happy new year! What are the goals you’ve set for yourself?

Edinburgh Day 3 - Human Remains, Scotch Whisky & The Plague

Let me reiterate here: do not climb to Arthur’s Seat unless you’re completely prepared, have some physical fitness, and know exactly what you’re getting into. I knew I would be tired and achy after doing it, but I woke up on Thursday morning in all kinds of pain. My legs had seized up and I spent most of the day walking like scarecrow because they hurt so much. It took real effort to get to all of the things I’d planned, and I probably didn’t help myself at all by pushing on.

Thursday

I stopped for breakfast at a cute place called The Edinburgh Larder. It’s a sunny little café with all locally-sourced ingredients. I got there not long after they opened, and they already had several tables seated. The décor is homey, and the atmosphere was peaceful. The staff were really nice (I didn’t encounter any rude staff while I was in Edinburgh – it was great!) and I had a mocha with a sausage and bacon breakfast roll. It was exactly what I needed, homemade and delicious. Even though it was getting quite busy, I wasn’t rushed along at all and could take my time finishing my coffee and going over my plans for the day. It was the perfect start to the morning.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have a keen interest in death, funerary practices, pathology, medical oddities and forensics. So when I read about the Surgeons’ Hall Museum, I decided I simply had to go. I was even more intrigued on finding out that photography isn’t permitted in the museum under the Human Tissue Scotland Act (2006).

I was the first member of the public in there when it opened (another very On Brand moment of my holiday), so I had a lot of space to look around. I had a little map and the staff recommended going around the place in a certain order:

Temporary Exhibition: When I was there it was 'Field Notes: Reflections of Camp Life at the Scottish Women's Hospitals', and I believe they change the exhibitions annually. The exhibition included some beautiful artwork based on the real-life accounts of female nurses providing care all over the world during the First World War. A real girl power story.

The Anatomy Lab Education Space: This was a nice little room that kind of reminded me of science classrooms at school (except much cleaner, and with impressive anatomical diagrams). There were several older human samples in here, as well as some human and animal bones. There were also desks by the windows with microscopes on them, as if someone could come in and start working at any time.

History of Surgery Museum Anatomy Theatre: I really enjoyed this part because there’s a mock-up of an anatomy theatre with an interactive dissection table. That, and the surrounding exhibitions, go through the history of Scottish surgery, including the discovery of germ theory and anaesthesia. I loved looking at the really old surgical tools as they just looked like something Michael Myers would carry. It was a really interesting primer on surgical history, and it was wild to read about all the mad beliefs that were held before we progressed in science. 

The Wohl Pathology Museum: An absolutely enormous collection of human remains, categorised by area of surgery (e.g. plastic, ocular, vascular, etc). On the upper mezzanine there are just rows and rows of shelves filled with specimens, each one neatly labelled. Some are older than others, and it’s interesting to see differing preservation techniques and effectiveness. On the main floor is a chronological section on wartime surgery, from the Napoleonic wars all the way up to Afghanistan. Definitely one to look at if you’re interested in military history. There was also a lot about women in surgery. Women were erased from history for the longest time, so to have their achievements highlighted is really cool.

I walked around all of the sections in awe, curiosity, and sometimes a tiny bit of revulsion. Some of my (for want of a better word) highlights were:

Not one, but two narwhal horns

Sir Charles Bell’s 1809 painting ‘Tetanus Following Gunshot Wounds’ - I’m not sure if it was the original painting or a copy, but the picture has always been so horrifyingly fascinating to me so seeing it up close was cool

Seeing what tuberculosis, syphilis and other diseases do to your internal organs

A pocketbook that’s said to be made from the skin of William Burke

Looking through a magnifier to see the three tiny inner ear bones

Skeletons, so many skeletons (the ones with advanced rickets were scary)

Older organs that were preserved by injecting mercury – the veins were all silver and shiny

Seeing the difference between musket ball and bullet wounds in the combat surgery section

Lots of congenital defects, teratomas and deformities

A really impressive aortic aneurysm

I could go on, but we’ll be here all day. There was so much more to see, I couldn’t possibly remember it all. The only part of the museum that I couldn’t bring myself to look at was the dentistry floor at the top. I have massive dental anxiety that I’ve only recently started getting over. It’s probably really cool but I didn’t want to risk it.

Surgeons’ Hall is so interesting, real, and not at all gratuitous. Everything is presented neatly and matter-of-factly. I could have spent all day in there, the collection is so vast. I think everyone should see it, but definitely not if you’re squeamish! I came out of there having learned a lot, and I’m glad I went.

I always get my Mum a magnet when I travel, so I stopped in a souvenir shop to find one. I also got her some gin fudge and picked up a pack of highland cow-shaped shortbread for Caz.

I had booked a tour at the Scotch Whisky Experience next. First, we were placed in a cart that looks like a barrel and it took us through some interactive tunnels that tell you all about the process of creating genuine scotch. We also learned about the different casks used for different flavours and colours, and how people have to train for years and years to be allowed to make whisky casks (by hand!).

We were handed ‘aroma cards’. Each whisky region – Highland, Speyside, Islay, Lowland and Campbeltown – had a scratch and sniff area to illustrate the ‘signature’ scent. We watched a video on a surround screen about the different regions and sniffed each one as instructed. I don’t think I was the only one essentially knocked out by the strong smell of Islay! Our guide explained the signature scents and flavours of each one, as well as some background about the different areas and the history of whisky-making.

In the next room, which looked like an old tasting room of a master distiller, we were told about how blended whiskies came to be. Then we were asked to pick one of the five regions or a blended scotch to taste. I chose Highland and was given some Tomatin Legacy. Our glasses were poured and then we were led into the vault containing the largest unopened scotch whisky collection in the world. I was blown away, the collection was so vast and full of cool, unusual bottles.

We were taught how to properly look at the colour and check the body of the whisky, how to nose it, and how to taste it. There was none of this spitting-out business that happens at wine tasting. We were encouraged to savour and enjoy our drinks and invited to look around at the glittering shelves full of bottles.

Bear in mind that I ‘only’ went for the Silver Tour option, and it was still really great. I learned so much, and our tour guide was really friendly and knowledgeable (also cute but shhhh). If you’re interested in scotch, how things are made, collections or history, I definitely recommend going to this. I had to exercise real restraint in the gift shop, as you can probably imagine. I got some dark chocolates shaped like barrels filled with scotch fondant as a gift for Martin, and some whisky-flavoured tablet for myself.

Afterwards, I had time to pop back to the hostel to drop off my purchases and have a break. I was grateful for that because my little legs were complaining and my back was killing me. I just flopped on my bed in the dorm for a bit to rest my poor bones.

At 3pm, I had booked a tour at The Real Mary Kings Close. It’s a really well-preserved 17th century street just off the Royal Mile. Today, it technically sits underground but it was actually an open-air street back in the day. Photos weren’t permitted here either, as the little streets apparently run beneath a government building so safety, y’know.

We descended down some steps to get in. It was chilly and smelled really old down there. The streets were so narrow and tiny – I can’t imagine how claustrophobic it would’ve been when it was filled with people, merchants, animals and tradesmen. There was one little offshoot that was barely a metre wide! There was a bit of information about the plague, which is one of my favourite things to learn about, complete with a figure of a plague doctor ‘treating’ one of the patients. We heard a story about a little ghost girl who allegedly haunts one of the houses. People leave toys to appease her spirit which I thought was very cute. Our guide was interesting and so entertaining. He didn’t break character once, and gave us a really lively tour.

I had one small niggle about the tour: On the website, it kind of appears as if you’ll meet all of the dressed up people as you went along, but that wasn’t the case. You get one guide, and I suppose it could end up being any of the ‘characters’. I’m just bitter because I didn’t get to meet the plague doctor.

I’m also going to have a small gripe about another tourist. We were told by our guide that one of the rooms had poles in it, which were actually load-bearing and holding up the old wood and horsehair ceiling. We were asked very politely not to touch them and warned that it could be dangerous. So the second we got in there some idiot man decided to grab one of the poles and SHAKE it. He was looking around like it was a funny joke and all of us were just thunderstruck. Our guide did a great job of reiterating his point without breaking character or getting angry. “Yes, I’d rather you didn’t do that. This ceiling is over 600 years old, I quite like it up there and not on my head.” Seriously if your guide gives you instructions, LISTEN. They’re not being killjoys and it’s not funny to disobey them – that’s how people get hurt or killed. Don’t be a dick, have some respect.

At the gift shop, I picked up my ‘plague survival kit’ – a pre-ordered collection of souvenirs including a plague doctor mask, two coasters (one wood and one glass), a plague doctor keyring, and a canvas tote with a plague doctor on it. I went a little bit mad with excitement and also bought a chocolate bar and a tea towel with plague doctors on it. If you like history - particularly the gritty, pestilent side of it - go to The Real Mary Kings Close.

When I emerged from underground, there was a man with a comically huge unicycle standing in the middle of the Royal Mile, hollering to the street to watch how he got himself onto it. I never did see if he managed to – I would have liked to have watched, but I hadn’t eaten properly all day and my stomach prevailed. I moved on to Mum’s Great Comfort Food.

The name was really apt. The food on offer was hearty, homemade and filling. I had an Oreo milkshake (not very Scottish, I know) and some skin-on chips with a serving of macaroni cheese. It was so good! I also tried Cranachan, a traditional Scottish dessert, and that was delicious too. A group of American ladies on the table next to me were very interested in what I was ordering and decided to try the Cranachan too when it came out in a cute little teacup with shortbread pieces. They were really friendly, and I had a nice chat with them while I ate.

I wandered back via Victoria Street again, and looked in a shop called Museum Context. It mostly sells Harry Potter merchandise, as Victoria Street was supposedly an inspiration for Diagon Alley. It also had a collection of other little curiosities and home décor. I didn’t spend very long in there, though, as I wanted to get back to the hostel to get an early night.

Friday

So much for getting an early night. There were new guys in the dorm on my last night, and they were so rude it was unbelievable. I was kept awake until after 2:30am by them repeatedly getting in and out of their beds, rummaging loudly through their bags/lockers, talking and giggling in stage whispers, and flashing their phone lights around the room so they shined right into my face. I got up and huffed out of the room to use the bathroom and told myself I’d give them three chances to shut up.

They blew them, of course, so I said, “Can you stop shining your phone lights around the room? I have to be up at 4:30.” I got a long silence and then a really sullen “Sawry.” like I was being unreasonable. This pissed me off more so I added, “And maybe go to the common area if you want to chat, as there are other people in this room trying to get some rest.” After that, they did settle down but I was so wired from having to be confrontational that I really didn’t get much more sleep.

The first rule of sharing a room with people, especially strangers, is to be courteous and not mess with people’s sleep. If it’s two in the morning and everyone else is sleeping (or trying to), DON’T BE THAT PERSON. Go to a common area or just shut up. It’s not fair on other people who are also paying to be there.

I managed to get up and out more or less on time, despite only getting a few hours’ sleep. I was seen off by a nice night porter at reception. Seriously, god bless Castle Rock Hostel – excellent service to the very last second. I had a lovely 5am walk through the dark, empty streets of the Old Town, and was already feeling the blues about having to leave.

I had a really lucky, easy journey home. About five minutes after I got to the train station, the shuttle bus picked me up and went to the airport. My flight was bang on time, and went without a hitch. The Flyer was already at its stop when I reached Bristol airport, and I made it to Temple Meads with five minutes to spare till a train that would take me home. It worked out really nicely and I was glad for that, because the trip was really catching up with me and I just wanted to get back.

It took me 5 days before I even managed to leave the house, and a full week to recover properly. I knew I’d pay for the trip, because I packed a lot in and forced myself to push on despite being fatigued. CFS makes it difficult for me to do a lot in a short space of time without needing a lot of recovery afterwards. Maybe someday I’ll write about it.

Despite that, though, I had such a wonderful time. Edinburgh is a vibrant, beautiful and immensely historical city. I would definitely like to go back because I feel like there’s so much more to see and experience there, and I 150% recommend it as a travel destination. Thank you so much for getting through this epic Edinburgh post trilogy, even if it took me so very long to write them up. I think next time I travel, I will draft blogs during the trip so I at least have something partial before I get back and post-trip blues set in.

Edinburgh Day 2 - A Castle, A Climb & A Cemetery

My first night of sleep was weird, being in an unfamiliar place in a room full of guys. Six of the ten beds in the dorm were occupied, and I was the only girl there on Tuesday night. I didn’t sleep particularly well, but I slept far better than I thought I would in a dorm setting. The big old windows were rattling all night, but I found it became an ambient sound after a while. My only tiny issue with the hostel was that there was nowhere private in the dorm itself to get changed, so I had to walk over to the bathroom every time. But hell, that’s not much of an imposition when you’re only paying £40 for three nights.

Wednesday

I had booked a ticket to go to Edinburgh Castle as soon as it opened at 9:30, but still had a leisurely time getting ready as it was literally across the road (again, shout out to Castle Rock and its amazing location). I would absolutely recommend going to the castle at opening time – I had a lot of places to myself while I was wandering around, and the place fills up really quickly. By the time I left, it was packed with people.

The castle was really pretty, as castles always are, and I took my time strolling around the grounds. That morning’s clouds began to clear up really quickly, and the day was turning out to be clear, sunny and breezy. I was pleasantly surprised, as it was supposed to be cloudy for my whole trip. My favourite part was the Prisons of War exhibit. It was really dark and spooky in there, and I learned a lot about pirates which can only be a good thing. Across the way from this was the ‘newer’ military prison, which was also very interesting. The castle has a small dog cemetery, to honour all the soldiers’ dogs. I also loved seeing the big cannons all over the place, especially Mons Meg. Another highlight for me was seeing the Scottish crown jewels – they were fabulous, and so very old.

I think Edinburgh Castle is a must-see. It’s such an important landmark, a beautiful place full of history, and there’s a fantastic view from the ramparts (not to mention a very well-stocked whisky shop).

(Click on this one to see it more clearly!)

After I left the castle, I began to walk toward Holyrood Park. It was about 20 minutes away, and my itinerary got a bit wonky at this point. It was fine, because nothing else I’d planned had a specific time to it, so I was quite happy to play it by ear for the rest of the day.

I stopped by Greyfriars Kirkyard when I came across it on my walk. I’d kind of hoped to see it on a cloudy, gloomy day but it holds its spookiness despite the beaming sun. It is an incredible cemetery full of beautiful, elaborate old graves. I spent ages in there, even though it’s not that large, and took so many photos - it was so difficult to restrain myself and choose only three shots for this post. I spied the Flodden Wall, a city wall erected in the 16th century (and still standing!), and the famous Greyfriars Bobby statue. My morbid self was in her element here, and it was endlessly fascinating to read the inscriptions and spot as many ‘Memento Mori’ references as possible.

Apparently, it’s this kirkyard that inspired JK Rowling’s vision of the Little Hangleton cemetery in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I can definitely see why. It’s such a gothic setting, full of Category A-listed crumbling tombs. I recommend going here, or any one of Edinburgh’s many stunning old burial grounds.

I stopped at a place called Black Medicine Coffee Co for a refuel. My friend had recommended it to me, and I’m so glad she did because it was divine. The coffee house itself is really cute and quirky, with a big basement seating area. It’s quite often populated by students, and had a really laid-back vibe. I had a mocha and a slice of rocky road. They were so delicious, and definitely a big sugar hit. I took my time there and chilled out.

The next thing on my itinerary was Arthur’s Seat, the peak of an extinct volcano in Holyrood Park. It’s about 822ft up, and I was sure using the ‘rolling hills’ on the treadmill had prepared me for anything. I was woefully unprepared. I didn’t bring any water with me, despite usually being a total bore when it comes to staying hydrated. I had Vans instead of suitable walking shoes. I had no supplies on me except for half a pack of tropical Skittles. I feel like this is so on brand that I’m almost proud of it. Despite all of my idiocy, though, I managed to get up there. The going was a bit easier when I caught up with two American girls (who were much more suitably dressed) – we encouraged each other and swapped stories of hikes past. They were also kind enough to snap this wonderful photo when we got to the summit:

My legs burned, I was all out of puff and it was so ridiculously windy up on the Seat, but it was all worth it for that amazing view. I sat up there for a while, watching everyone taking photos and clambering around on the rocks. There were kids, adults, old people, dogs, Scottish and tourists alike up there, and I silently sent good vibes to every one of them for making it to the top. I helped take photos for other people (including the American girls from before) and took in the sunshine.

As I began my descent I was joking with some fellow English folk about engaging our inner mountain goat so as not to fall off the hill. I warned them that they might encounter my carcass at the bottom. I got chatting to some more friendly Americans, one of whom thought I’d hiked this trail before because ‘you seem to know where you’re going’. LOL, god bless. I took my time coming down because the weather was beautiful and I felt very peaceful and content out there in the crags.

I wanted to go to Calton Hill next. I’d learned that they used to burn accused witches there, until they took that morbid crap to the Castle. I was walking in that general direction when, in an unnamed side street, I found the New Calton Burial Ground. Yet another beautiful old cemetery? Of course I made a detour and spent a long while wandering around. There was a sign at the other entrance that said ‘Tombs With A View’ and I still laugh about it now. Always here for a bit of death-based humour.

If you want some nice views of Edinburgh and can’t quite stomach the thought of climbing Arthur’s Seat, I would recommend Calton Hill. It’s really close to the city centre so it’s easy to get to. There are steps and slopes to the top, so it’s also more accessible. There are also lots of interesting to see on the hill itself – some of them are the National Monument of Scotland, the Nelson Monument, and the Portuguese Cannon.

By this point I was parched. I hadn’t had anything to drink since my mocha at Black Medicine, and I was really feeling it. I stopped at a Sainsbury’s and grabbed some water. I also found a Superdrug and bought some painkillers because I was beginning to hurt everywhere. I had a proper look at the wonderfully imposing Scott Monument before continuing to the Princes Street Gardens. The park was lovely and tranquil – I sat near the Ross Fountain for a while and rehydrated. My legs and back were thankful for the short reprieve. Before I left, I scouted out the little Robert Louis Stevenson memorial stone. Then I had to climb the Castle Mound again. I’d essentially done a huge, hilly loop around the city and it was a hell of a hike, but so worth it for everything I got to see.

 I’d had another food recommendation (same friend – thanks, Caz!) for a place called Mary’s Milk Bar and I was pretty chuffed when I found out it was right behind and downhill from my hostel. I decided to go there before touching base at Castle Rock. First of all, look at this absolutely darling little shop!

It’s a perfect pastel juxtaposition to the gloomy, gothic Edinburgh around it. The inside is just as lovely, with ice cream shaped wall sconces and vintage ads for milkshake on the walls. The two girls working in there were so friendly and sweet, and there’s a huge range of homemade gelato in unusual flavours. I played it a bit safe and got a scoop of salted caramel and a scoop of cherry and dark chocolate chip. I perched on one of the stools inside while I ate and went to heaven. Another huge thumbs-up from me – the sweet treat was exactly what I needed, and so beautifully made and delicious.

(Top left window is my dorm!)

I popped back to the hostel to have a zizz for an hour because the fatigue was really beginning to set in from my busy day. I wanted to feel a bit more alive for the evening.

I went to a bar called Frankenstein for dinner. It appears to be in an old church, which is lit up with green lighting at night. Inside, a huge Frankenstein’s Monster statue stands in the doorway and the décor is very dark and weird science-y. Up on the mezzanine, to my utter delight, were replica morgue drawers. I had a good wander around before I ordered dinner and settled in a booth. There were spotlight lights on the floor, but they were all the Monster’s face, and the Boris Karloff film played silently on a large screen. It was a really cool place, and I found it fun because it seemed to just be a ‘local pub’ for most of the people in there (there was even a pub quiz later on).

I had some mozzarella sticks, a cheese and bacon burger with chips, and a New York-style cheesecake with whipped cream and some kind of dark cherry puree. It was really delicious, even more so because I’d only eaten a rocky road slice all day. I took my time eating and relaxing, and had two tasty themed cocktails – ‘Bloody Mary Shelley’ and ‘The Bride’.

I briefly went to an alternative nightclub called Opium, where I found out that they were doing Jack Daniels & coke for £1.50 – ONE POUND AND FIFTY PENCE. I was practically stealing it! I only had one, and took my time drinking it. The bar was nice and quiet because it was still early, and I left before it got busy. I let my younger self down a bit (£1.50 DRINKS) but I was still really tired and it had been a long day.

I meandered slowly back to the hostel. I took a little detour to look at a pub called The Last Drop. It’s named that because it’s where they used to let prisoners have a drink before going to the gallows. Thanks again to ‘Australian David’ for this wonderfully morbid history lesson!

I want to say at this point that I felt so safe walking through Edinburgh at night and didn’t once feel uneasy during my trip. I always maintain that, as long as you mind your own business and trust your instincts, you will generally be ok in a city. Of course, prior research on areas to avoid is always a good idea, too – I don’t fool myself into thinking anywhere is 100% safe. When I got back to the hostel, I just hung out in my dorm and turned in fairly early. From this night on, there was another girl in the dorm too, which was nice.

~

Wow, so this was another essay. Congrats if you’ve managed to stay with me, I really appreciate it. Click here for the final part!

Edinburgh Day 1 - Arrival, Haggis & A Spooky Tour

Having itchy feet and not a lot of cash is a bad combination. Since my week away in Wales last September (thank you again to my little brother and his partner for inviting me along for free), I hadn’t gone anywhere. Have you ever felt cabin fever, but it’s for your whole town? I was feeling antsy and bored again, so I decided to use some money I’d saved to go away for a few days. It was a short and sweet break, but I planned to pack in as much as I could.

I decided to go somewhere that wasn’t too far, partly for financial reasons. The other reason was that Edinburgh kept popping into my head. It looked like a beautiful old city, and I’d never actually been to Scotland before! I felt that I had to, seeing as I live in England and have visited Wales several times; the final country of Great Britain had to be seen. I just need to see Northern Ireland now to conquer the whole United Kingdom.

The trip was also somewhat of an experiment. I have stayed in hostels, but always in a private room. This time, I wanted to try staying in a dorm to see if I could deal with it. I’m a very, very light sleeper and like to have pitch dark and dead silence when I go to bed, so I wondered if I’d ever be able to manage sleeping in a room with other people. In the past I’d failed, but I wondered if it would be different after full-on days of exploring. I hoped to prove that it would be, as that would open up so many more possibilities travel-wise – for a start, it could cut the price of my trips all the way down.

Speaking of price… My hostel was £40 for three nights, and my return flight was £46. I definitely recommend looking at Expedia to compare prices, and always try to go away off-peak as prices soar around holidays and events.

So, armed with my cheap travel and accommodation, and a rough itinerary, I set off to bonnie Scotland!

Tuesday

My journey to Edinburgh nearly ended before it began. I arrived at the station to catch a train to Bristol, only to find that all of the trains to Temple Meads had been cancelled. All I could do was stand there in shock. “Well, I’m not catching my flight!” I laughed to a woman near me in what I hoped was a carefree way, but was probably super sad.

Fortunately, serendipity smiled upon me as the station pulled off an amazing feat and managed to scramble an emergency train to get to Bristol. A man started hollering about it in the main terminal and I was off like a shot to the platform, making it just minutes before the train left. Sure, I had to sit in the luggage rack for the entire journey but it was worth it to be on my way.

On arriving at Temple Meads, I went outside to the stop where the Bristol Flyer would pick me up. It’s a shuttle bus that goes to the airport. The coach was really nice and comfy, and there were parts of the half-hour journey where it became a guided bus. I’d never seen this before so I was really confused and excited when it happened.

I had the easiest security experience ever. The airport was super quiet when I got there, so it was a breeze to get my boarding pass scanned and have my bag checked. Another ‘experimental’ part of this trip was to travel with hand luggage only, and it really is a game-changer to not have to faff about checking in bags. It’s also teaching me to economise more when packing, as I do tend to go overboard with what I think I’ll ‘need’.

I had a really early lunch at Brunel Bar & Kitchen – a bacon and cheese burger with chips that tasted amazing (gross airport prices though). Even after taking my time eating, I was still ridiculously early for my flight. It’s absolutely better to have time to spare, but I will admit I started to get really bored toward the end of my wait. I was eventually ushered out onto the windiest runway ever, and my flight took off bang on time.

On the flight, I was listening to a boy behind me asking his mum why sucking a sweet helps to stop your ears from popping as you ascend. I’ve literally never had to do that, because I can flex my tempor tympani muscle and ‘pop’ my ears that way. Fun fact: this isn’t something everyone can do! I always assumed that it was universal because I’ve been able to do it all my life. I’ve since been quizzing people on whether they can do it or not. You know the ‘roaring’ sound you hear when you yawn deeply or plug your ears with your fingers? Can you make that sound happen voluntarily? If you can, then you too have the ability to flex your inner-ear muscle. Congrats!

The flight was fine, and it was really easy for me to find the Airlink stop when I got out of Edinburgh airport. It took about half an hour to get into the city centre. As always, I doubted my own research and got off the bus a stop too early which resulted in slogging up a gigantic hill to get to my hostel. It was an interesting way to approach, though. I went from your bog-standard high street, to a little slice of quaint history in the sky. It was seriously like going back in time, and I found myself immediately falling in love with the Old Town as bagpipe music filled my ears.

My hostel, Castle Rock, is situated across the road from Edinburgh Castle, which already made it an ideal location. I was greeted at reception by two charming Australian guys, who convinced me to go on a ‘spooky tour’ that evening by continuously reiterating that it was free. All the dorms in the hostel are themed, and mine was ‘Scottish films’. My bed’s name was ‘Whisky Galore’ which I thought perfectly apt.

I just want to take some time here to talk about Castle Rock hostel. Here’s a link to their TripAdvisor reviews – as you can see, the majority of them are glowing. It’s a beautiful old building with winding staircases and long corridors. There are suits of armour on the main stairs! The whole place was constantly clean and tidy, and housekeeping visited my dorm every day to straighten it up. The facilities are fab – there’s a kitchen for guests to cook in, a really cheap breakfast on offer every morning, three beautifully-decorated common areas, and an endless supply of free hot drinks. The hostel also runs lots of free events for guests to sign up for. Last but by no means least, the staff are amazingly friendly and work so hard to keep the hostel running at top standard. I’m not at all surprised that they’ve won so many hostel awards.

Once I’d had my fill of creeping around the corridors, I wandered down the Royal Mile just taking in the atmosphere. I had researched places to eat and found a place called Makars Gourmet Mash Bar. The menu is full of Scottish goodies, and all of the ingredients are locally sourced. I simply had to go there for my first ever meal in Scotland.

The staff immediately greeted me warmly and had me sitting at a table with a menu in seconds. They were all super friendly and I felt right at home. I was pondering aloud whether 16:45 was too early to have some Edinburgh Gin and the waiter said, “This is Scotland. It wouldn’t matter if it was 10am, have the gin!” which encouraged me, to say the least.

For a starter, I had the most Scottish thing I could think of – mini haggis, mashed neeps and tatties. It was a perfect small portion for a terrified person who’s never tried haggis before. It was so delicious, really seasoned and tasty, lightly covered with a rich gravy. Historically I’ve been a picky eater, and I do struggle with a phobia of certain food textures. So trying new things is still a big, scary deal. I’m really glad I was brave enough, otherwise I would’ve missed out.

For my main, I had two huge wild boar sausages (apparently one of the leanest meats you can get, and so flavourful), and some Scottish cheddar and chive mash. The sausages were so gigantic and rich that I couldn’t finish all of my mashed potato, even though I really wanted to! The whole thing was so good and – just a note – Edinburgh tap water is glorious.

I went back to my dorm to chill for a while because I was stuffed. A friendly guy from London had a good chat with me, and helped me close the huge old window that I’d been struggling with.

At 7pm, the ‘spooky tour’ started. Naturally, it started outside of the castle and was about an hour and a half, walking in a huge loop around the city with our tour guide, ‘Australian David’. There was a lot of gruesome stuff like murder and witch-burning and so much history everywhere we stopped. My favourite bit was the Old Calton Burial Ground, where ‘Australian David’ promptly shut us all in a cell and showed us Victorian post-mortem photos, before gleefully informing us that we were standing above layers of bodies (I believe he called it a ‘Scottish lasagne’, which was just lovely).

Also in the Old Calton Burial Ground was the Martyrs of Reform monument, and it’s apparently the burial site of notorious child farmer (murderer) Jessie King. Her grave isn’t marked, but she’s somewhere in there. We visited another cemetery in the tour – shamefully I don’t remember the name of it, and can’t seem to figure out where it was on a map. But here, we were told stories about the body-snatchers (murderers) Burke & Hare. It was a really interesting tour, and ‘Australian David’ was a fabulous guide.

On my way back, I got a bit lost trying to find a supermarket for drinks. I definitely got some good cardio walking up and down the steep hills. Ye be warned, Edinburgh is nothing but hills so I hope you’ve got some supportive calves if you’re planning on going.

Thanks for getting this far! Part 2 of my Edinburgh adventure is right here.

A Good Start

I’m allowing myself to feel a bit smug this weekend as my first 'proper’ week of 2019 went better than I thought possible. I think I already felt more confident because the first week of the year allowed me to get a lot of rest and recover my strength.

This week was when I returned to volunteering, to the gym, to ‘real life’ again. I volunteered on Monday and Friday, as planned, and got so much work done that I surprised myself. I think having a two-week break from it was exactly what I needed to be able to make a comeback and smash it.

What surprised me more was my sudden motivation to fulfil my exercise goals. I exercised every single day this week - I went to the gym and did my workout (which includes strength training and cardio, using my whole body) on Monday, Wednesday and Friday; on Tuesday I did a beginner’s yoga routine and attended physio; and on Thursday I followed an upper body workout video by FitnessBlender.

As a result of this utter madness, I am sore all over and my muscles don’t know what’s hit them. I also appear to have developed tendonitis on the top of my left foot, which is really painful and inconvenient. I’ve used the weekend to rest it and it’s gotten a bit better, so I hope it won’t become an Ongoing Thing. On a more positive note, my abs are sore for the first time in probably my entire life, which means they must’ve been working enough this week to make a difference. I also had an amazing revelation on Friday – I wasn’t absolutely dreading the gym! I won’t lie to you and say I was excited for it, but it’s just become another thing on the ‘to do’ list. Nothing to be alarmed about. And for me that is such a huge step in the right direction. I can only hope that I continue to feel neutral about it. I daren’t hope that I might enjoy it someday.

My new approach to eating has also been successful so far. I eat less at breakfast and lunch, and make sure to have vegetables and protein in my dinner. I have one treat (one piece of chocolate, one Jaffa Cake, etc), but this is only until my Christmas chocolate runs out, and then I won’t be buying more. I am still going to allow myself to have treats every now and then, but I’m being much stricter about it. I’m not counting calories, but I’d honestly be surprised if I was currently eating more than 1500 a day. And I think this, combined with my water intake going up again, is making me feel better already. I’m so incredibly worn out from the busy week, but I feel really proud of myself for being so productive.

At the moment, my naturally pessimistic brain is wondering how long it’ll be until I burn out, but I’m quite happy to ride the wave of feeling accomplished until that happens. Maybe it won’t. I can only hope!

I’m trying to get back into the habit of writing, which is why I decided to post this blog despite continually reminding myself that this is only interesting to me. Writing for an audience isn’t a priority at the moment; writing for myself and getting the writing bug back is my more reasonable goal for now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! ~ 2019 Goals

We're almost two decades into the 21st century, which is both awesome and horrifying. As we all do every New Year, without fail, I've been thinking about the goals I want to aim for in 2019. I've tried to be a bit more realistic than I have been in past years, so hopefully I'll have a lot more success. We'll see.

Get back into (paid) work

This is the big one for 2019. I'm at a point in my recovery where I feel like I can handle getting back to employment. I usually put ‘career’ for this one, but I feel that’s a big ask to go from technically-unemployed to a Real Career in a year. For now, I just want to get back into work doing something I don’t entirely hate and earning real money.

Reach ‘healthy’ BMI (and/or drop 2 dress sizes)

I’m aware that weight loss might not be very significant, as I’ve been going to the gym and building muscle, so I’ve also added dropping dress sizes to this goal. Regardless of weight, my body is changing shape the more exercise I get, and I think that’s how I’m going to gauge my success more than actual weight. Having said that, I do want to reach a healthy BMI as I’ll feel better in myself for it. Mostly I want to be stronger/fitter and increase my self esteem.

Get a tattoo

I have so many ideas, and no clue which one to pick first, but I will keep putting this on my goals list until I do it.

Go to the gym 3 times a week

In June 2018, I started going to the gym (having never set foot in one in my life before that). I was going twice a week where I could manage it. This year I want to step it up to three gym sessions a week, whether that's my general workout or a class. I am also thinking up a mini workout to do at home when I'm not in the gym. When the weather clears, I'll get back to doing my hikes. And of course I'll keep doing the little things like walking wherever and whenever practical, taking stairs instead of lifts, etc.

Save money as much as possible

I’ve learned that I’m actually better at saving money than I thought, so I want to continue the good habit of putting away as much money as I can spare each month. Obviously at the moment, that's not a huge amount but I hope when I get back into work I'll have the opportunity to put a lot more into savings. Then I can use it for things like travel, having my hair done, saving up to move out. All the nice things.

Blog more

In my 2018 goals recap, I mentioned that I’d been trying to draft/brain dump ideas for posts. I hope that’ll be helpful towards this goal. I do love blogging, I just feel that I’ve had nothing to write about. I think I need to write more for myself again to get back into the swing of it and actually enjoy myself.

Continue volunteering

While I’m still ‘time rich’ (my dad’s phrase), I want to carry on volunteering. It's really good for my mental health as it gets me out of the house and keeps me busy. It plugs what could have been a huge employment gap, as well as giving me lots of new experiences and skills to add to my CV. Also, I'm attached to my organisation and my fabulous colleagues now, and want to be there for as long as I possibly can.

Read at least 15 books

I've smashed this goal two years running, so I’ve increased it a bit from my usual 12. I’m loath to increase it more in case I end up being a lot busier this year (I hope so).

Do my Yearly Purge and Laptop Tidy

An annual tradition now. I want to keep up with it because I'm naturally quite untidy, so doing my big clean in the spring keeps me organised and my spaces tidy and pleasant to be in. I also need to sort out my laptop files as they're a mess.

Go on more trips

Local or national, I want to see more of England/Britain. We have so much to explore and see on our little island and while I have less money to go abroad, I think I need to focus on smaller, more reasonable trips. I'll feel so much better for it – I stagnate when I'm stuck in one place all the time.

Go abroad

I really want to do a ‘big’ trip this year, outside of the country. I miss the thrill of travelling, meeting new people, different cultures and cuisine. I may make a rough cost estimate and save toward that as much as I can. I'm at my happiest when I'm travelling so this is always a positive goal for me to strive for.

Continue to track habits etc

I've said it once and I'll say it again - tracking things in a visual way has been so helpful and enlightening for me. It's good to be able to quantify how well/badly I'm doing, look for patterns, and keep on top of my life. At the moment, I'm tracking:

• Habits (I currently do: waking up at my alarm, hygiene, hydration, exercise, tidying up, to do list, German practice, Swedish practice, reading, no naps, no alcohol, no money spent, no takeaways, take meds, and bed by 11pm)
• Mood/fatigue/pain levels
• Depression levels (using the PHQ9 as a guide)
• Spending logs (monthly, to keep an eye on expenses)
• Savings
• Weight loss/body measurements

This year I have a general 'rough' weekly diary to scribble everything into, but I'm also creating a bullet journal-style book for all of my tracking. Having it all in one place makes more sense and will make it easier for me to see it all 'at a glance'. I may even make a post showing some of my journal if I'm pleased with how it turns out.

Finish travel scrapbook

I swear this just needs to get out of my life now. I'm getting on for five years since I tried to start this project, enough is enough. I need to get it updated this year so I stop feeling guilty about all my travel bits and bobs just sitting in a bag instead of being presented in the book.

~

I think that's enough to be going on with! What are your goals for 2019? I'd love to hear them!